Hampster Bladder

Well, not really. You see, I’VE HAD 4 CUPS OF COFFEE IN 2 HOURS!!! I’m a little wired, a little shaky, and a little tired of going to the bathroom. Why have I had this much coffee? Because, it tasted good. It’s really that simple. For some reason, this morning, it really tasted good. Normally, Tim, the coffee savant makes the better coffee in my house.

It makes no sense. He DOESN’T EVEN DRINK COFFEE!!! He drinks TEA!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF TEA!! Have you heard the phrase “more than all of the tea in China?” He is trying to consume that much. Oolong, Jasmine, Chai; iced, hot, blended; cheap, expensive, ohmahgawdyoujustpaidwhatforaleaf??? Nevertheless, he makes the best coffee in the house. I take full advantage when we’re awake TOGETHER in the morning.

My mom may need an intervention. Write your letters, pack her a bag, call the tv crew.

BUT NOT TODAY!!! Today, I was the QUEEN OF THE BEAN!!! And now I am the queen of the scream, lady of the shakes, mistress of the lake. Why did I do this to myself? I’m going to end up peeing EVERY MILE on the treadmill today. Should I just cath myself and tape the bag to my leg? It’s a look.


What happens to you when you overdo it on the coffee? (hello, loo!)

How do you take your coffee? (iced or hot, skim no sugar, preferably Dunkin Donuts or D’Amico, anything but civit coffee.)

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