Groupon’s Gone to Crap

Every morning, I anxiously await my email from Groupon and LivingSocial and Scoutmob. Generally a good deal, and often, a good time. Today was a real winner. Today, I woke up and saw THIS.

What.The.Fridge.(you can’t say “fudge” here, as it would be too gross)

You, yes YOU, can get a thorough pipe scrubbing at a super deal discount, here in Brooklyn. This is but a mere two weeks after they offered LIPO for less than an arm and a leg, but they will do your thighs! Does Groupon only know how to just suck ass?

Speaking of sucking, yesterday was my crosstraining day. I was on the elliptical (with the October issue of “Self,” Love that Jennifer Hudson!!) and I just couldn’t muster a heart rate <125 BPM. Seriously, I can’t be the only runner who just doesn’t feel like the elliptical is a good workout. I felt so blech! I was actually JEALOUS of the hip hop class full of old, white women. THEY looked to be working hard!! I felt like I was tiptoe-ing on the delicate petals of friggen Thumbelina’s flowers! I was at 10 incline and 13 resistance!!! Fiddlesticks.

After working out like a fairy princess, I went with Captain CrazyPants (aka, Elijah) to scour the aisles of TJ Maxx for some cool serving/microwavable serving bowls for things like soup, salad, moonshine, and I came across some really super gems in the decor department. Gems that will haunt my nightmares for weeks to come.

What the heck. It’s like the Phantom and “Thing” had a creepy statue baby.

Who is this? The Jack Frost of Halloween? Is he going to turn me into a pumpkin? Is he going to make it rain pepitas?

Do you ever shop at TJ Maxx/Marshall’s/Home Goods?

-I kinda love them. A lot.

Who is creepier? Jack Pumpkin or Jack Frost?

-I can’t choose. They’re both bad.

4 thoughts on “Groupon’s Gone to Crap

  1. Honestly, those are 2 of the creepiest things I've ever seen. I think the Phantom thing is slightly weirder, but barely. WTF? Who buys those things!? And on the elliptical...yeah, I'm not a huge fan either. I never feel like it's a legit workout either and the motion of it just seems dumb to me. You're never really making your body do anything like that in real life so why the heck make it do that as a workout? Hmm...
  2. I couldn't agree more about the elliptical! Not only do I feel like I'm not working out, but my feet start to go numb after about 10 minutes (and I've heard the same from others). I love TJ Maxx! There is one right next to my gym so I stop there frequently. But those decorations (?) Are just weird!

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