Don’t Lay Your Hands On Their Ladybodies.

Here’s the thing, if you are going to hit on someone buying “nursing support” and prenatal vitamins at the GNC; while buying yourself Cytomax and AbCutter and UberPriceyIfeelImportant Creatine and Protein powder, you might have an issue. (He actually complimented me on my choice of vitamins!) If you then, get on your Huffy and ride ON THE MOTHER LOVING SIDEWALK FULL OF CHILDREN, you are DEFINITELY a cheesedick.

Cheesedick, people. Word of the night. Use it in a sentence. Are you a politician who may have paid off a softball team’s worth of women for laying your hands on their ladybodies? You’re a cheesedick. Walgreens employee who CARDED A USMC OFFICER IN UNIFORM WHO WAS CLEARLY 40+ FOR BEER AND THEN SUBSEQUENTLY WAS GOING TO DENY HIM BEER AFTER FIGHTING IN A BIG FRIGGEN DESERT FOR YOUR SORRY ASS? You are a cheesedick.

I feel like I should have Marla illustrate this with one of her awesome illustrations. For now, my voodoo beanie baby collection will have to suffice. (voodoo dolls are for sissies.)

Batch 9 of my 30 batches just came out of the oven and it smells fantastic. Pardon me while I go eat all of them all at once while simultaneously trying to avoid third degree burns and a giant glob of fat on my inner thigh take pictures of them.

Favorite Insult?

Today? Cheesedick. Tomorrow? Asshat?

Care for a gratuitous baby picture? Oh, you would like one? Let me help you with that.

10 thoughts on “Don’t Lay Your Hands On Their Ladybodies.

  1. I am a big fan of fuckwad as an insult. Asshat is always good, though. I like cheese too much to call someone a cheesedick. I don't want said item of a fuckwad near my mouth. Even as a mental image. I have a great idea. Hows 'bout we make one of your 30 over here, Kosher style so the kids can play-date it and we can eat them all while trying to avoid oral 3rd degree burns. I could get behind some serious cookie action. n

talk foodie to me...