Everyone in the blogosphere is on an anti-resolution kick this year, so just to be contrary, I am going to go resolution CRAZY. I want more resolutions than what is necessary. BIG resolutions that will CHANGE THE WORLD. (ok, maybe not.)
NUMBER 1!!! I resolve to eat something OTHER than peanut butter and honey for lunch every day. This may mean I only make something different once a week for WIAW, but what the hell do you expect?? I am a creature of habit. Just ask the socks and wallet I’ve had since high school.
NUMBER 2!!! I resolve to find a white wine that I can stomach. This is purely for the sake of teeth staining. Red teeth are cool if you’re a Cullen or a Compton, but not so cool for a daywalker from Brooklyn.
NUMBER 3!!! I resolve to get rid of at least FIFTY PERCENT of the Captain’s toys!! He has a SHITTON OF THEM and only a select few are ever played with.
NUMBER 4!!! I resolve to QUIT SPENDING SO DAMN MUCH MONEY AT STARBUCKS AND DUNKIN. This is the one I feel like I can fail at the most magnificently. I love me an iced coffee or sbux iced tea. mmmmhummmm.
A MUFFIN TOP!! A mother loving muffin top. If I gain THREE pounds, I get one. It’s sad, unfortunate, and like everything else, I blame my mother. So, I gots to get my ass in gear and get rid of that hot mess!!
NUMBER 6!!! I resolve to get the captain to eat different vegetables. He eats it if its green or a carrot. This was also my resolution last year, so you can see how well I did.
NUMBER 7!!! I want to pay off 30% of my student loans that are now topping off at over 30Gs. I vomit in my mouth every time I read my statement.
NUMBER 8!!! I want to start vlogging. I will start with this one. It’s my brother’s dog, Anna Banana, but that’s my arm and voice!
NUMBER 9!!! I want to start making my own damn hummus. My son eats a metric ton of it a year, and that little midget is costing me a fortune.
NUMBER 10!! TRY ON ALL THE BATHING SUITS BECAUSE I WANT MY BODY RECONSTRUCTION!! oh.hells.yes.