Stuffing and Nip Slips.

This post is terribly hard for me to write. Not because I am speaking about a particularly difficult subject, but because I had to put down a book to do so. Do you ken how very hard that is for me to do? I had an easier time choosing my outfit for today, and I am not graced with a natural sense of style. Thank the sweet baby Jesus that there’s pinterest and gay men. If it weren’t for those two, I’d be lost in a wash of blue jeans and button downs.

I somehow managed. I am not going to lie, though, the kindle is baiting me as we speak. (typely communicate, whatevs)

Don’t read too much into my literary psychosis…or that pun.

What I do want you to consider is something very near to my heart…my bra.

I typically talk more in the abstract about weight-loss and its side effects, or my healthy lifestyle, or how I keep myself on this side of crazy whilst in the grip of MDD and GAD. However, after last night’s debacle at Crossfit, I feel the need to get literal.

Losing any amount of weight, your lady fun bags are going to take a beating. This also goes for being Bessie the milkcow to any offspring you might have offsprung. They also change with age, hormones, water levels in your body…The list is too damned long for what are essentially fat and liquid sponge flesh mounds hanging from your torso.

Last night, I did what I know NOT to do after many moons of stuffing, lifting, and separating Lucy and Ethyl, I wore a push up bra to Crossfit.

Let me tell you how this went.

  • I darn near would have had several nip slips had I not been wearing a high collared shirt
  • I may have looked several times as though I had a boob job gone horribly awry, and they decided to point in opposing directions
  • other times in the night, lucy and ethyl appeared cross-eyed
  • I actually thanked several deities that I was wearing a thick, black, tee shirt.
  • the underwire bit into my ribcage like some sort of victorian torture device.
  • heavy padding=sweat sponge=ohdeargawdyuck
  • bounce-age. a lot of it.

This is why you do not wait till the very last minute to wash your sports bras. It will end in embarrassment. There are specific bras for specific purposes, and you should stick to them. I have several favorite brands and bras, and I have a confession…

One of them is LuLuLemon. Please, forgive me.

This one is my favorite for Crossfit. It’s the Moving Comfort Divine Mesh Bra

 It has a clasp, I like that in a bra.

This is the Handful Bra. It has pads that are removable. This bra is GREAT for yoga and weightlifiting. 

The Spinnerette bra from LuLu. Yes, it is perfect for spin. Shut your face, world.

Last, but not least, the T-Bird Sports Bra by athleta. I love everything about this bra, and would wear it all the time if it was appropriate.

Do yourselves a favor, and do not do what I did. Buy more bras..perhaps one that benefits other’s boobs as well?

Also, please do remember to feel yourself up (while lying down) a week after your monthly curse makes its appearance. It’s Breast Cancer Awareness month. Be aware of your boobies.

Not that we’ve shared in my embarrassment, let’s share in my food.

I like muffins for breakfast. Too much, some would say. Alas, I made some healthy ones.

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Muffins.

Peanut Butter Pumpkin Muffins

by Cat Tan

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 25 minutes

Keywords: bake bread breakfast side snack vegetarian fall

Ingredients (20 muffins)

  • 1 cup pumpkin
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter (creamy)
  • 2/3 cup sugar
  • 1 cup plain greek yogurt
  • 2/3 cup malt powder (I use traditional malt powder, ovaltine is fine)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice
  • 2 cups sifted whole wheat flour

Instructions

preheat oven to 375F

combine wet ingredients

beat one minute

sift in dry ingredients

stir until just combined

pour into greased muffin tins

bake 25 minutes or until a skewer inserted in the center comes out clean

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15 thoughts on “Stuffing and Nip Slips.

  1. OMG you make me laugh!!! This was the best post ever! And Lululemon is ALL I wear... I'm a confessed lululemon snob. Tried other brands but none can compare. AND Lulu is Canadian! aren't you yanks lucky we have good trade laws witcha? :-P
  2. The worst thing have happened to me in a very similar situation. I was putting off laundry and the pile grew into the size of a mountain and i had kick box practice to go. Of cource all my sports bras were in the pile, and i wore one that was too big(80 pounds ago big). At some point during practice one boob came off the bra and i had to "fix" it right there and then! Dreadful time!
  3. Something I hate and do NOT understand... why is it that when we lose weight, it seems to come off our boobs first??? WTF? I've lost 11 pounds so far, and I swear, most of it is boobage. This, combined with having two children 20+ years ago (ack) and going through menopause, is not fun. I look like I have two semi-deflated balloons on my chest. None of my bras fit anymore, and I recently tried on a push up at a lingerie store. The bra laughed at me. ::sigh::

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