Is There A Brownie Cosplay Costume Out There? I Really Like Brownies.

I am so immersed in academia and the arts that the majority of my waking moments are solidly packed inside “nerd culture”. So absorbed am I in this world, that I forget that it’s even a niche market. I forget that the majority of people don’t know entire lists of Harry Potter spells or debate the virtues of the actors who’ve played “Dr Who”.  I don’t remember that not everyone wants to hear about which type of Zydeco music I’m writing to this week. (I swear, I’m half-southern hillbilly, half-Slovak, I’m drawn to the accordion like a moth to the flame.) I stare blank-faced at people who don’t understand what it’s like to be completely sleep-deprived because a book was just.that.good.

I understand the draw towards things that are extremely mainstream. Something like, I don’t know, baseball, or tailgating, or watching movies just once. I like all of those things. Kind of.–I’ll admit, i don’t understand Will Smith. He’s quite popular, and beyond Fresh Prince, I don’t get it.–

After a rather harrowing incident today, I am reminded why so many of us interested in this niche, would rather congregate amongst ourselves, than journey into more mainstream outlets. That’s not to say nerd culture doesn’t have its issues, OH, it most definitely does. Just like any group of people, there are nerd bullies. I know, I know. need proof? Look here. There are people who argue all ways of nerd culture until their thickly-plastic rimmed spectacles fall off of their noses. Essentially, we’re all just people who are borderline obsessive over aspects of culture that aren’t universally accepted ways to while away hours upon hours.

But it’s not to say they don’t like Will Smith.

I liked “Clueless” as a girl. It was a funny, well-written movie with clever dialogue and Paul Rudd.  It wasn’t, however, the movie that I would spend hours in a basement watching. That, for me, was “Rocky Horror”, “Monty Python”, and “Clue”.  While “Clueless” was a fun romp, in the gin rummy of my ontological narrative, I could only hold so many cards, and snobby prep with a good heart, wasn’t among them.

I simply do not understand why kids are still being ridiculed for things like this. When nerd culture is so accepted, why do we try to force our kids into a one-size-does-not-fit-all box? Most of us like some of everything. Hell, I am the LEAST “yay team” among us, and yet?

I like going to baseball games and drinking craft beer while my son yells “HEEEYYY LET’S GO METS!!!!” I like soccer, and occasionally hockey, just to watch. That is some SERIOUSLY athletic shit they do. I am a pretty hardcore crossfit bitch, and after an hour or two playing soccer with my European friends,  I wonder if I really do run 15-26.2 miles at a stretch, or if that’s all in my head, because, OMG that is draining! Hockey? It’s like crazy soccer with violence and ice on BLADES. They’re forever beating the shit out of each other while gliding along on the world’s slipperiest surface upon twelve-inch long weapons. Damn. Impressive. (again, many are also Slovak, so I watch just to hear the horrific pronunciations of last names.)

I know we can’t be all things to all people, but why not just try to understand people a little better? Why not try to love science a little more? Or history. Or theatre. Or fiction. Or fuck, even MATH, at least enough to be able to calculate a tip…or batting average, or whatever. 

Sports are important, I get that, they build character; but science is what makes PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING. Know both. What you wear is fun, and how you present yourself is important, but more often than not it serves as a point of contention between economic classes, learn from that.

Science-Fiction, though crazy and often way-out-there (Sharknado, I’m looking at you) it often serves as an allegory to what could happen if we don’t do X and Y.

In the great bildungsroman tales of our time, how often does the protagonist find themselves by taking the most overused trail? Pretty much never.

I simply want everyone to be given a fair shake to openly enjoy the things that drive them, without fear of ridicule from any camp. Be a sports geek, but an open-minded one. Be a fashion nerd, but understand that not everyone can afford Versace. Be a sci-fi nut, but get that not everyone can translate kling-on. Be a book nerd, but get up in time to live.

Now that I’m off my soapbox, I’ll give you a treat. A VEGAN treat that tastes like OMG.

Vegan Coconut-Caramel Poke Browniescoconut caramel poke brownies coconut caramel poke brownies

coconut caramel poke brownies

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 1 hour

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Keywords: bake dessert nut-free soy-free vegan

Ingredients (9-12 brownies)

    for the caramel

    • 1 can of coconut cream (available at Trader Joe’s) or the cream from two cans of full-fat coconut milk (it separates when refrigerated, just scoop off the cream)
    • 1 cup sugar
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract

    for the brownies

    • 1 cup sugar
    • 1/2 cup dark cocoa powder
    • 1/2 cup coconut oil
    • 2 flax eggs (1 tbsp ground, toasted flax meal and 3 tbsp water per egg, stirred up and let sit for 10 minutes)
    • You could use regular eggs for this and melted butter for the coconut oil, but I actually really like the tastes of these things.
    • 1 cup flour
    • 1/2 tsp kosher salt
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 2 oz espresso

    Instructions

    for the caramel

    melt the sugar in a saucepan alone on medium until it is a bubbly brown mess. DO NOT STIR!! (so many youtube videos to display this, it’s not even funny)

    whisk in vanilla and coconut milk

    cook 10 more minutes on medium high

    In the meantime….

    for the brownies

    preheat the oven to 375F and grease and flour a 9″ square pan

    whisk together oil, flax eggs, sugar, and vanilla

    sift in dry ingredients, stirring just enough

    pour into pan

    bake 25 minutes

    pull out and poke many holes into it with a wooden skewer

    pour caramel over brownies and let sit for 45 minutes

    serve.

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    4 thoughts on “Is There A Brownie Cosplay Costume Out There? I Really Like Brownies.

    1. I <3 you. For this post, for brownies, for the use of the word bildungsroman. I would debate doctors and watch Monty Python (or Clue! Love Clue!) with you anytime. PS - #10. All the way.
    2. Thank you for this post! I am a very specific kind of nerd, with a deep love for campy horror movies (RHPS counts among these!), musicals, Harley Quinn from Batman, swing dancing, Harry Potter, Star Trek Next Generation, and anything vintage from pin-up art to burlesque to Bob Hope/Bing Crosby "Road To" comedies. But sometimes, as I am gleefully geeking out about one of these things, I'll feel out of place because they're so specific. Like, because I love Next Generation I should also love Battlestar Galactica. Nope. I don't hate it, but it doesn't speak to me because it doesn't have sexy Patrick Stewart in the cast. Or if I'm freaking out about Batman, people assume I should give a shit about Thor. The only time I care about Thor is during that scene in the first movie where he has his shirt off. Hip crease for days. I also enjoy craft beer and Clue. Madeline Kahn is my comedy inspiration.
    3. Ha ha definitely know what you mean about being sleep-deprived over a book. There have been times that I have glanced at the clock and it has been 3am, unfortunately that hasn't happened in a while. Not voluntarily anyways, just to meet deadlines and I really miss that! And memorising Harry Potter to-do things isn't weird. But then again, I have lost track of how many times I have re-read the books, and re-watched the dvd's. It is probably bordering on insane or unsafe haha. When you are getting dirty looks from people, because they are missing the film due to your quoting of the film. I guess it's time to take a break. P.S - Have you heard the news about J.K Rowling writing a new screen play?

    talk foodie to me...