Con’ned.

Last night, after workworkworking all week like some sort of aphid on fruit, or iphone manufacturer, I was FINALLY able to get a run and bike in. (ok, not that bad.)

In NYC, it’s the weekend of Comic Con. You know what that is, don’t you? It’s nerd paradise.  Yes, it’s true that in recent years, asshole misogynists have been the darklight of the con circuit. Generally, though? It’s a four-day long geekgasm full of the epic awkwardness that comes with thousands of introverted readers, gamers, and nerds suddenly leaving their hidey-holes in full geek regalia.

And sometimes, magic happens…

THEY BELONG TOGETHER!!! FREEZEPEEN AND FROSTYVAG UNITE!!

SO ANYWAYS…back to the point. One of my triathlon training team members is an author who is going to be featured at CON. He’s written a bunch of books, so it’s not his first or fifth con. He quite likes meeting his readers, and hearing about their thoughts on his books/characters. For him, and most authors, this is what writing is all about.

In fact, Sartre wrote: “It is the conjoint effort of author and reader which brings upon the scene that concrete and imaginary object which is the work of the mind. There is no art except for and by others. (side note: infinitely hard for me to write “Sartre wrote” instead of the academically proper “Sartre writes.”)

While on our bikes last night, we were meandering our way through the borough, and came across some Conners. A ton of them. In cosplay.

It’s hard to describe what we came upon, I’d personally never seen it before, but my teammate, the author, set off in a peal of laughter that could only be described as “gleeful.” By the way, what’s the collective noun for a group of cosplayers? I’m going to use “Arkham.” An “Arkham of Cosplayers.”

There was a dude that looked like a very deranged rabbit. There was also a purple duck, a parrot with a mask, a boulderish-looking pig character, and something vaguely vixenish. They.Were.Awesome. Imagine the worst, or best Easter, ever, and that was this group. “Here’s a basket full of rabid kick ass.” And I had no idea what the fuck they were. The author was clapping and whooping at this point, so I KNEW it had to be something vintagy-comicky. I looked at him, I may have hit him in the stomach to get him to calm down, and asked him: “what the hell are they?” He practically SHOUTED: “GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, IT’S CAPTAIN CARROT AND THE ZOO CREW.” He then looked at me like I should totally know this obscure reference. I stared back. Thousand-yard style. A good stare.  He posed for pictures with this group. He didn’t tell them ONCE who he is. A NYT bestselling author just fangirled all the hell over these strangers, and practically danced with the sheer joy of it.

This was him.

 

I’m really hoping they spot him at his booth and he does it again…in front of his readers. Since he wouldn’t allow me to post pictures at his booth of him playing Barbies with our daughters while his wife and I ate bagels and drank morning wine.

So it’s actually a thing…

We rode no further. How could finishing the last three miles possibly compare to running into libidinous rodents and their posse? It can’t.

I’m really looking forward to meeting some of my favorite authors this weekend and making them sign all.the.things.

Oh yeah, and BILL MOTHERTRUCKING NYE is going to be there. THE SCIENCE GUY, PEOPLE.

But for now….DONUTS

Apple Peanut Butter Donuts

Apple Peanut Butter Donuts Apple Peanut Butter Donuts Apple Peanut Butter Donuts

Apple Peanut Butter Donuts

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 15 minutes

Keywords: bake bread breakfast dessert snack

Ingredients (18 donuts)

  • 2 cups apples, finely diced
  • 1 cup brown sugar
  • 1/4 cup butter
  • 1/2 cup peanut butter
  • 1/2 cup whole milk
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  • 1/4 tsp mace
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 2 cups AP flour

optional

  • cinnamon sugar mixture for with tossing hot donuts

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350F

In a skillet on medium heat

add butter until melted

stir in apples, cinnamon, mace, nutmeg

cook five minutes

add sugar and vanilla

stir until melted

stir in peanut butter

take off stove and let cool

add eggs and stir

add milk, stir

sift in dry ingredients

pour 2 tbsp batter into each greased donut pan hole

bake 12-15 minutes or until golden brown

when hot, toss in cinnamon sugar.

serve.

(keep in AIRTIGHT container after they cool COMPLETELY)

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1 thought on “Con’ned.

  1. You need to get Bill Nye to autograph your boobs. And then get a tattoo artist to tattoo it. I've always wanted to Con, but, well, from what I understand there are people at these things? Whole arkhams of cosplayers? Someone might talk to me. Even worse, no one might talk to me.

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