Get Series(ous). #9

Is there a word like “penultimate” that means “ninth?” I feel like nine Get Series(ous). posts deserves some sort of fanfare. Maybe just a dance.

Honestly, this post would’ve been up a while ago, but the original recipe I wrote for it felt…somehow not quite perfect. I’ll explain that later. Also, there is this book I’m reading…I told myself if I ran this morning, (I did. Ran 4, walked 2. Weekly milage 54.) I’d allow myself a few chapters…

It’s possible I haven’t showered. It’s possible I’m also too lazy to even switch to my ipad to read the book. It’s possible I have a ton of work to do today, and I’m choosing to ignore it.

My hair is messy, my makeup is non-existant, I'm not moving.
My hair is messy, my makeup is non-existant, I’m not moving.

*the bag is a gift from the PSM. It’s filled with my scripts and translation materials I need to get to today…

To the meat of the post!

This week’s series is another series that my husband and I fight over on release day. I am CONSTANTLY quoting from this series to him. It’s fucking endlessly quotable.

Who should read this series?

This reader LOVES South Park–or at least–the idea of it. A socially conscious humorous series that uses a lens of questionably-appropriate humor to shine a light on the things that need discussing, but which make us uncomfortable? Yes. That.

This reader misses The Flight of the Conchords like a missing limb, and is actively waiting in line, right now, to see their vampire mockumentary.

This reader cannot understand why there was never a crossover between Teen Wolf and Teen Witch. 

This reader values a strong sense of justice, but also understands that sometimes it’s necessary just to…

But most of the time, they’re going to stand their ground to the bitter end.

These readers are sick of typical shape-shifter or vamp novels, and they’re SO OVER dystopian, but DAMNIT!! They want to believe someone can lure them back to the genres they fell in love with long ago.

This reader will never admit to watching Preppers, but they’ve secretly googled “how long will canned ham remain edible if unopened?” Alongside “Accuracy of the pull-out method.” (Let’s be honest, there’s not going to be a lot of Yaz available in a post-apocalyptic world. Also? no EPIDURAL.)

What is this series?

The Kate Daniels series by Ilona Andrews.

The Blurb: (first book, pictured above.)

Kate Daniels is a down-on-her-luck mercenary who makes her living cleaning up magical problems. But when Kate’s guardian is murdered, her quest for justice draws her into a power struggle between two strong factions within Atlanta’s magic circles. Pressured by both sides to find the killer, Kate realizes she’s way out of her league—but she wouldn’t want it any other way…

Why I love it:

This series is everything I wanted in a read after finishing The Hunger Games a few years ago, and wanted more dystope, but I wanted something new. I wanted more. I wanted humor and charisma, and fun.

When I started the books I thought “this is really Urban Fantasy! A lane where magic overflows? A giant lion in human skin who wears sweatpants? A heroine who carries a sword that requires feeding, who also has a forceful amount of snark?” Needless to say, I fell head-over-heels in love with the series.

“Sometimes the Universe smiled. Mostly (1)

There is just enough romance in this series that even the most die-hard romance fan will love it, in spite of the romance not being the main aspect of the series. The action is where it’s at. The insanely in-depth world building. The mastery of a well-told tale.

When I think of master world-builders, I think of Stephen King’s Dark Towers or Terry Pratchett’s Discworld. I also think of The Violent Bear it Away by Flannery O’Connor. There’s intensity in world building of Ilona Andrews that causes you to step back, reflect, and wonder at the imagery of it all. Take the humor of Pratchett, the focus of O’Connor, and the fantastical doom of King, and you get the writing team of Ilona Gordon and Andrew Gordon, who together write as Ilona Andrews.

Which brings me to my next point. The authors of these books are a husband and wife team. If I ever chose to write a novel with someone else, my husband would be dead last on list of people of whom I would choose to co-author the novel. I mean, no. Just. No. The fact that these two seem to THRIVE in this situation?

Holy Flying Spaghetti Monster. Damn.

It makes me wonder what life with them must be like. I know that my husband and I mostly talk about our kids and our jobs, as well as myriad other things when we’re together. I blather on about this or that, and he responds in kind. But Illona and Andrew Gordon work, create, and ostensibly live together. At the dinner table, I picture Illona Gordon looking over at her husband and saying something like, “Hey, you know what sounds like fun? A blind and vegetarian were-tiger. Amirite?” And her husband looking at her–lovingly, of course–not like she’s crazy at all–and saying,”And she should hook-up with the second-most badass alpha in the pack. They’d probably like to eat Keebler soft batch in bed, if those were still in existence in post-apocalyptic Atlanta.” And that would be their normal. 

The recipe inspired by the series:

Ok, I’ll admit I made two recipes for this post, and it came down to the wire which one I chose to post. In the end, the wings I made just didn’t feel exactly right. Not because fried chicken isn’t eaten in the stories, but because the sauce I used didn’t feel right for the series. I know, I’m weird. 

But one food is PROMINENT in the series. It sets things in motion, it hurls the plot forward.

What is that food?

pie. so much pie.

In the series apple pie is a big gesture–and sticking point–between the MC and her LI. But for this recipe, I considered where it takes place, (post-apocalyptic Atlanta) and who is in the series, (a fuckton of predators) and came up with something new.

Bacon-Fried Apple Pie

Smoky, salty bacon fat combines with sweet spiced apples, and a flaky crust, and BOOM! taste explosion. I also suggest dipping them in sour cream because both Kate and I are Slavic, and that’s what we do with our apple desserts. It sounds weird, I know, but it’s OMG SO GOOD.

Bacon-Fried Apple Pie

Get Series(ous). No. 9 and BACON FAT FRIED PIE. Yeah, you're hungry. #Bacon #books #getseriesous #amreading Click To Tweet

Bacon-Fried Apple Pie Bacon-Fried Apple Pie Bacon-Fried Apple Pie

Bacon-Fried Apple Pie

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 1 hour

Cook Time: 5 minutes

Keywords: fry appetizer breakfast dessert pie

Ingredients (2 dozen pies)

  • 2 circles of pie dough (store bought is FINE)
  • 3 large granny smith apples
  • 1 cup bacon fat. (just collect it. it takes a while)
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/8 tsp clove
  • 1/8 tsp allspice
  • 2 tbsp flour
  • 1/3 cup brown sugar
  • 2 cups canola, coconut, or peanut oil for frying


for the filling

peel the apples and dice into 1/3″ cubes

in a saucepan on medium, add 3 tbsp bacon fat

when fat begins to ripple, stir in apples

gradually toss in spices and brown sugar

when apples begin to soften–about 3-5 minutes, sift flour over apples

stir until combined and smooth

remove from heat

for the pie

I used Pillsbury pie crusts, unrolling them, and using a drinking glass to make about a dozen rounds

drop about a heavy tbsp of apple mixture onto each round, fold dough over, and pinch to seal. PINCH HARD.

prepare the fry fat

add remaining bacon fat and cooking oil in a cast-iron skillet

heat on medium-high to 350F

fry each pie for 3 minutes per side

serve dusted with powdered sugar and a side of sour cream

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