Suck it, Faerie.

Ok, so fair warning, I’m about to fangirl the fuck all over a book. I’m also making easy vegan malted mocha brownies. BUT! I was also this book’s first reader. (As the author of it is mine.) ALTHOUGH!!! If I wasn’t impressed, or didn’t like it, I simply wouldn’t talk about it at all. (I’m cunty that way.) However, this book was so very good. I liked it quite a lot in its original incarnation, and it’s been reasonably altered from that draft. For one thing–it’s gobs shorter. For another thing–it’s tighter. Like it had book vaginoplasty. It went from being a Cathouse Ranch of a novel (a good time, if somewhat overdoing it) to say, Blanche Devereaux. Saucy minx with high standards for boning, but knows how to find partners who fit those standards.

The book?

Of course it’s my PSM, Amy Cissell’s book, The Cardinal Gate

The Blurb:

Eleanor Morgan is faced with an impossible choice. Destroy the world of her birth or the world in which she was raised?

Sent away from the Fae court and raised as a human, Eleanor never knew of the Fae realm. Now, the summer before her 35th birthday, the man she thought was her best friend reveals her destiny – to open the gates that prevented free and easy passage between the land of the Fae and the human realm.

As Eleanor and Finn begin their quest, they face their first threat. The shifters are watching and waiting, unsure if Eleanor and her quest are a threat to their way of life. They are assigned a watcher—Isaac Walker, a shifter with a mysterious past. Eleanor knows she should be frightened, but cannot explain the draw she feels for this secretive werewolf.

With Finn by her side and Isaac at her back, Eleanor begins the journey that will either destroy the world or save it. Will Finn’s jealousy or Isaac’s past be the bigger barrier to completing the quest?

my very biased but totally true thoughts.

It’s fucking amazing. Seriously. This debut will blow you away. The fantasy is fresh and the world building is fucking insane. There is a surprise at every turn–and that’s just inside of the characters. Eleanor is a breath of fresh air, and so is Isaac. He’s an alpha male, for sure, but Eleanor is just as alpha, and even though Isaac is very protective, he’s not “Me wolf. You my bitch. Any man within sniffing distance of your ass is going to get a new hole ripped in his.” He’s totally not a guy who you’d run screaming from in real life! Well, unless he was in his wolf form, because that’d be suitably terrifying.

And it’s funny. If you’ve read her blog, you’re familiar with her quick wit and sharp mind. It’s very apparent throughout the novel.

A little possessive is good. A lot is troublesome, and will probably land you up on a milk carton or, at the very least, Jerry Springer.

I don’t want to go on Jerry Springer. He paid for a hooker with a check, people. A CHECK!

There’s only one character in this novel who would do that, and I’m not telling who. Ok, also maybe a tattoo artist, but artists are weird. *present company included. Though, I’d pay cash.


He’s an amazing, super duper awesome vampire who I want to lick from fangs to feet. Really. I mean, Isaac is hot af, and I do generally prefer werewolves in my fantasy sexual partners, (or fantasy husbands, or sometimes I may wish the man of mine was a werewolf so that I might have a furry warm place to burrow cold feet under…) BUT RAJ GOT ME LIKE…

And I wouldn’t be name calling.

The Cardinal Gate is that rare debut novel that makes you wish the author had an entire catalogue of books through which you’d wend your way while awaiting the next with bated breath. Amy Cissell has managed to coax something new and sensuous out the familiar PNR genre, titillating long-time readers, and no doubt converting new ones. The Cardinal Gate is a maelstrom of action and romance wherein one element never outshines the other, instead creating a seamless harmony between the two.

Five Stars to @gazellesoncrack's debut novel, and easy vegan malted mocha brownies. Click To Tweet

easy vegan malted mocha brownies

There are two beverages which appear with more frequency than any other in this novel. Coffee and beer. I approve of this whole-heartedly. BUT, coffee and beer aren’t natural cocktail bedpartners, so I took elements of both and made EASY VEGAN MALTED MOCHA BROWNIES. Because I’m awesome like that.

For these easy vegan malted mocha brownies, I use A BOX MIX.

Easy Vegan Malted Mocha Brownies
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What Goes In?

  • 1 box duncan heinz double fudge brownie mix
  • 1.5 tbsp flax meal with 3 tbsp water
  • 3 tbsp instant espresso stirred into 1/3 cup dark malty beer
  • 1/3 cup canola oil

Avengers, Assemble!

  1. mix together and follow instructions on box

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