Do Vampires Drink Bloody Marys?

Do you know what day is coming up? OH YES! Easter! Other than the deeply religious significance of the holiday, it also means two very important things: brunch, and Easter eggs. Well, I have something for both cravings right now. One is the perfect twist on a classic in the form of a spicy Irish Bloody Mary–in three forms, and the other is in the novella and short I’m reviewing. EASTER EGGS. IT HAZ THEMS.

Today is the re-release day for this gemA Very Proper Monster by Elizabeth Hunter. Look, Ma! New cover and everything!

And the original story is just as wonderful and weird as my previous post detailed. If Edith Bunker was smarter, younger, and classically beautiful–with a nasty case of the consumption, that’d be Josie. But Tom is no Archie. He’s a brute with a soft side. (Well, soft emotionally. Not physically. At least not around Josie–if you get my drift. Which I think you do, because I just spelled it out without spelling it out. Hint* I’m talking about erections. He has them. Frequently. Both of the dental and dicktal varietals.)

all night long.

But the real tisket of my biscuit is the new short story attached! Ok, full disclosure. Y’all know Elizabeth Hunter and I are friends. Y’all also know we only became friends after I stalked her online and wore her down like Western saddle because I loved her books so much. So I endorse them because they’re good. ANYWAY. Like, a mere few weeks ago, we were texting with my PSM and she writes “I think I’ll write a short Josie and Tom story.” Two minutes later: “OOOOH! I have a GREAT IDEA!” Six hours later: “So I wrote over ten thousand words, today.” THE HOLY FUCK?!? ARE YOUR FINGERS ABLAZE? DON’T YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT FINGERS ARE?!?! For…things????

Yes, that’s exactly what I was talking about.

And then? I GOT TO READ IT. And I loved it. I can’t say much because blurbing a short story is a bit like taking shots before a kegger. Overkill. Let’s just say that it has to do with competing authors, Tenzin being her badass self, Josie being Josie, and Tom and Ben doing what they do best–brooding.


If only these eggs were bloody! Oh wait, that’d be a period. Well, they’re vampires, let’s call it an appetizer.

And it’s a really funny short story. It does worry me, though. Elizabeth is one of my most-prized first reader/betas. I mean, she’s amazing and honest, and now I’m terrified. Because, you see, I tend to adverb greatly. I very much like to swiftly add them to much of my extremely terrifying and very fucking sexy scenes.

And honestly–she has called me out on it, which I need. Because, obviously.

But there’s this line in the book that has me looking over my shoulder:


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I am so glad she’s not actually Josie–or Tenzin. Beatrice. Brigid. Any of them.

So I’ll ply her with alcohol. After a few of these, her aim will be total rubbish.

I made, of course, Bloody Marys. But better. I made an Irish Bloody Mary, a Red Snapper, and a more-traditional Bloody Mary. All the same base. All amazing and unique. My favorite is the Red Snapper, as it is made with gin. This recipe makes ONE.

An Irish Bloody Mary for an Irish Vampire Novel! YUM. #brunch #booze Click To Tweet

Irish Bloody Mary Irish Bloody Mary Irish Bloody Mary

Irish Bloody Mary
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What Goes In?

  • 2 oz Jameson (for Irish Bloody Mary) Beefeater gin (for Red Snapper) Tito's Vodka (for traditional)
  • 1/2 tsp horseradish
  • 1/4 tsp organic worcestershire sauce. (The Japanese variety is vegan)
  • 1 tbsp FRESH lemon juice
  • pinch tajin chili lime
  • dash celery salt
  • dash (or 5) Louisiana hot sauce
  • one small can of Sacramento tomato juice
  • ice
  • For the rim
  • kosher salt
  • old bay seasoning
  • tajin seasoning
  • garnish
  • celery
  • pickled peppers
  • green beans
  • olives

Avengers, Assemble!

  1. shake all cocktail ingredients
  2. combine salt, tajin, and old bay
  3. rub lemon on rim of glass
  4. dip into salt
  5. fill glass with ice
  6. pour shaken cocktail ingredients over ice
  7. top
  8. DRANK

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