First of all, my heart goes out to the people of Houston, Rockport, Port Aransas, and the other areas of Texas affected by Hurricane Harvey. I cannot imagine the stress you’re under.
Before I get to the figue et citron champagne cocktails, though, I want to note that starting next week, I’m doing a read along of Spoonbenders (affiliate link) on my Facebook page. It looks a treat, and I’m really excited for us to dig in.
This is the first Get Series(ous) I’ve done in a while, and I’m really loving the series I chose. I’m currently reading book 2.5 in the series, and it’s pure candy — and that’s why I chose it for this week’s pick.
The world has been truly shitty lately what with our joke of a president, white supremacist bullshit, and this utterly devastating hurricane. The books I’ve been reading have been the exact opposite of the bullshit in the real world. Although, my audiobook choices have been very political in nature.
These books are the perfect, completely unbelievable antidote to the horrible place we’ve found ourselves in in this world. They’re over-the-top hilarious. They’re so far-fetched it’s almost a satire of the genre, and so steamy your vibrator will start spontaneously turning on without any direction from you.
These books are perfect for those of you who are looking for an escape into something that will keep your attention, make you forget, and still drive you to be utterly attached to the characters in the books. If you like Kristen Ashley, Penelope Ward, Helena Hunting, Kendall Ryan, Jana Aston, or Lauren Blakely, you’ll love this series.
It’s the Billionaire Bad Boys series by Max Monroe. Bee tee dubs, Max Monroe is apparently two bestselling romance novelists who have written together as one, and no one knows who they are. Well, they know. Hopefully. It’d be weird if they didn’t. Or terrifying. Maybe both.
Anyways, you’d probably like the blurb: (from book one)
Blind dates? Online dating profiles? Been there, done that.
Georgia Cummings has zero luck with dating, and the era of the internet is not her friend.
No matter how fast she runs, how many corners she turns, she can’t find her way out of this weird, alternate universe where men think d*ck pics are a replacement for small talk and getting to know a girl. One more crotch selfie and she might write men off for good…
But why can’t she stop fantasizing about him?
Kline Brooks is the quintessential billionaire bad boy—dark, styled, short hair, muscles for days, and a panty-dropping smile.
As his employee, he won’t touch her with a ten foot pole.
But she won’t touch him either.
Too bad their hormones missed the memo.
I hate it when my hormones miss the memo.
Like the one I sent them last week that I was NOT going to eat everything not nailed down during my pms because I have clothes to fit in and shit to do. My hormones definitely missed that memo. However, they were all on-board last night when you know who and you know who did it on Game of Thrones because my vagina promptly shriveled up and began crying in a corner chanting bad royals, quit fucking your family. First Jamie and Cersei, and now this? This is going to end in a Charles II level inbred progeny.
Because we all know that witch was a total cunty mcclamjammer who just wanted to fuck with Khaleesi. CAN I GET AN AMEN??!
Back to the book.
Max Monroe’s Billionaire Bad Boys are absolutely irresistible. These books aren’t cookie-cutter rich boy romance. They are sharply-written fantasies for intelligent women with drive and a sense of humor. Max Monroe’s protagonists aren’t wilting flowers looking to be de-flowered and set up by their men, but instead are movers and shakers all on their own who happen to find themselves affluent adjacent and lucky enough to fall in love with men of means. At no point in these hilarious romps do you ever feel like the women need a man to take care of them, but you do cheer for the couples because, there is an intrinsic acknowledgement of the strength and bond that a stable couple provides each person in the pair. The men are getting as much or more from the women as the women are from the men.
And then there’s the dick jokes. I love a good dick joke, and these books deliver. Yes, I do wish that Cassie, the protagonist in book 2 used the word “puss-ay” less frequently, but that’s purely a personal choice because that word gives me the willies–and not the good kind that also serve as the basis of the aforementioned dick jokes.
I hope that these ladies keep their little parergon going for many, many more books, because I’m having tons of fun reading them, and you should too.Get Series(ous) This time with @AuthorMaxMonroe and Champagne Cocktails! Click To Tweet
I knew it had to be champers. I mean, they’re billionaires. Granted, they’re not ones to put on aires or anything, but they got the money, honey. Also, it’s fig season, so of course I am using them.
What Goes In?
- 5 figs, sliced
- 1 lemon or lime, sliced in half
- 1 lemon or lime sliced for garnish
- 1 cup of sugar
- 1 cup of water
- 3 oz of gin (ice cold)
- 10 oz of champagne
- grab two champagne flutes
- bring the water and sugar to a boil on medium
- once the sugar is dissolved, add the sliced figs and lime or lemon
- simmer on low for 20 minutes
- let cool completely
- pour 2 tbsp of the fig simple syrup, adding a few of the figs in each of the two flutes
- add 1.5 oz of gin to each flute
- top with champagne and stir