An Excitable Box

Oh this post.

If you are related to me–DO NOT READ THIS POST!!

If you do, please, don’t ever talk to me about it, and certainly never look me in the eyes ever again, because I’LL KNOW.

So, a little bit before my vacation in Ohio, my friend Thien-Kim Lam of I’m Not The Nanny, From Left to Write Book Club and, most recently, The Bawdy Bookworms, asked me to review her latest venture, The Bawdy Book Box.

The description from the site:

“Each Bawdy Book Box will contain one smokin’ hot romance or erotica book, a sexy adult toy, and an additional 2-3 surprises to feed your mind and body. (Don’t worry, if you’ll need batteries, we’ve that covered too.)

As a bonus, all Bawdy Bookworms (that’s you!) will have access to our discussion forums aka our virtual book club. No more worrying that your grandma or colleague will see your status update about Mr. Sexy’s escapades. Come over and join other smart, sexy women talk about our books and vibrators.”

I mean, how could I say no?

Basically, the only thing to say was “yes, yes, YES.”

Here’s my box. (TWSS) I immediately instagrammed it. Because, of course I did.

It came in a very nondescript package. It contained the book: Biscuits: Tea: English Breakfast, because, theme.   And then…something I can only assume was designed as a tea stirrer. A battery-powdered tea stirrer. A very powerful and very small tea stirrer. A “bedazzled” tea frother. Because gems like you deserve to have their tea stirred by only the fanciest and smoothest tea frothers. And trust me, it will really stir your tea. Like, bubbling over. Best for hot, creamy tea.   Alongside some cherry flavored lubricant. (because when you’re greasing your wheels, it’s best to know what the engine tastes like.)   What did I think about this box?   I loved it. Truly. But one tiny thing.   The book was the fourth in a series. YES!! Each CAN be read as a standalone, but I have book neuroses, and can only read series in order. It’s a thing.   Turns out it’s #4 in a SPIN-OFF series, so I have many books to read, now. I loved the Beautiful Bastard series, and now there’s MORE.   The book was good, and it, um, really warmed my tea. In fact, I’ve loved the series so far. A series I was sure I would HATE.   I was wrong.   Would I buy the box? Yes. If my family asks: no. But that’s the joy of the nondescript box.   NO ONE KNOWS WHAT’S INSIDE!! (twhs)   Now, a hot recipe for a hot box. (that wording is weird, but go with it.)   It’s seasonal–like the box.   Indian Pumpkin Soup with Cilantro Pesto   Indian Pumpkin Soup with cilantro pesto    

Indian Pumpkin Soup and Cilantro Pesto by Cat Bowen Prep Time: 30 minutes Cook Time: 1 hour Keywords: appetizer entree side soup/stew dairy-free gluten-free kosher paleo soy-free vegan vegetarian

Ingredients

for the soup

  • 2, 15 oz cans pumpkin puree
  • 1, 15 oz can full fat coconut milk
  • 2 1/2 cups vegetable stock (plus more if it needs thinning)
  • 1 large sweet potato, roasted
  • 1 head of garlic, roasted (cut off the top, wrap in foil. bake at 350 for about 45 minutes)
  • 2 cloves raw garlic
  • 2 tbsp EVOO or coconut oil
  • 1 tbsp cumin
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp coriander
  • 1 tsp ground ginger
  • 1 tbsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp hot curry paste
  • 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
  • 1 tsp ground white pepper
  • 2 tbsp maple syrup

for the pesto

  • 8 oz toasted pecans
  • 1 cup chopped cilantro
  • 1/3 cup EVOO
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 3 cloves of garlic
  • juice of one lemon

Instructions

in a large stockpot on medium, heat oil

thinly slice garlic clove

toss garlic in oil and fry until golden brown

remove from oil

add spices and toast until mix becomes extremely fragrant

stir in remaining ingredients, leaving the salt for last.

mash the potato in the soup until mostly smooth

simmer one hour

serve with pesto

pesto

combine all ingredients in food processor and process until nearly smooth.

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the box was free, but how it was used, and my opinions are my own.

It’s Not a Sin, It’s Criminal-ly Bad.

Ok. I almost never write bad reviews. I hate doing it. It doesn’t feel nice. Authors spend months on a project–sometimes years–just to have someone like me tell them it’s crap? I don’t like it. I’m friends with authors. I AM an author. I know what it’s like to be written about negatively. Therefore, what … Read more

Weighty Words: The Top 5 Fitness Books That Don’t Make You Want an Oreo.

When I re-branded my blog, I told myself I wouldn’t completely cut fitness out of the blog entirely, because it’s still a huge part of my life, and I love talking about it. However, it felt disingenuous to continue in the vein of “healthy fitness blogging” when I realized that a lot of the time … Read more

Get Series(ous). #12

This get series(ous) is entirely someone else’s fault. I won’t name names or point fingers, but I will give clues.


*catnip

and this:

Who should read this series?

Today’s Get Series(ous). is for readers who want to fall over laughing in public places. This reader loves PNR, but he or she is freaking tired of the “fated mate” bullshit. No one smells someone once and immediately decides they must do the deed and be bonded forever, and that’s perfectly ok because, fate, right? Not dubious consent at all!!

No, this person wants the build. Two people meet, they may or may not like each other at first, they fight it, there’s a tug-and-pull, the inevitable tug-and-rub, and then a tugging at the strings of the heart.

This person probably likes Anchorman and Drunk History. 

When asked “Team Jacob or Team Edward?” he or she responds: “fuck them, I’m Team Scott Howard.

They have gone to more than one karaoke bar, and know all the words to either:

or.

They like romance and the, you know,

But they’re in it for the story.

He or she prefers the tenth and eleventh Doctors to the ninth or twelfth. (sidenote: why is “twelfth” so fucking impossible to spell? I feel as though, phonetically, it’s “twelth.”)

He or she probably likes to bake, and probably use a lot of butter or vegan buttery substitute.

So, what’s the series?

The Pride series by Shelly Laurenston!

From the first book:

Christmas Pride

How come all the good-looking ones are insane?
That’s what runs through NYPD cop Desiree “Dez” MacDermot’s mind the minute she hooks up again with her childhood buddy, Mace Llewellyn. It isn’t just the way he stares at her with those too-sexy gold eyes―as if he could devour her on the spot. Or the six-four, built-like-a-Navy Seal bod-o-death. It isn’t even that he sniffs her neck and purrs, making her entire body tingle. It’s more about that disconcerting, shifting-from-man-to-lion thing that unhinges her…and makes her want more.

Mace likes making Dez crazy. In fact, he likes her any way he can get her―in bed, on the desk, here, now, again. Together, they’d always been trouble, but Dez has no idea just how good trouble can feel…

Shaw’s Tail

Brendon Shaw, hotel owner and lion shifter, has seen better days. He’s been beaten, had a gun to the back of his head, and had to be rescued by a Pack of shape-shifting wolves. He didn’t think he’d survive the night, much less find the woman of his dreams. And he never thought the woman of his dreams would have a Tennessee accent and wear cowboy boots. Once he sets his sights on her, the predator in him is ready to pounce and never let go.

Ronnie Lee Reed is ready to change her life, and New York City is the place where any girl―even one who runs with a Pack―can redefine herself. First order of business: find a mate, settle down, and stop using men for sex. Even big, gorgeous, lion-shifting, oh-my-what-big-um-paws-you-have men. Then again…

Why I love it:

Honestly? It makes me laugh. Every page makes me laugh. The characters are warm and hilarious, and over the top in their antics. Imagine a bunch of actors or comediennes hang out all of the time, and they may or may not sometimes become wolves, polar bears, or polarcats. Resembling the saber tooths of yore.

The entire ensemble makes me smile.

This is a series of books to read to really escape. Leave your shit at the door, and fall into their packs.

Gwen and Lock

They’re campy and wonderful, and exactly what The Doctor ordered. Maybe she could write a royal spin-off series?

The characters genuinely seem to love one another, and it makes the reader love them as well. Shelly Laurenston’s characters are some of the funniest and big-hearted characters in PNR. Readers become attached to their antics and their dialogue from page one of book one, and are well attached even nine books later.

Four Star Series.

The Recipe Inspired by the Series?

It was a no-brainer. In the installment The Mane Squeeze, the grizzly-shifter, Lachlan, is obsessed with honey buns. I am also. But some vegans don’t eat honey, and it can be $$$ to use in large quantities. But DATES? They’re very much LIKE honey, and a bag of dried dates is around $2.50. Less if you buy in bulk.

Also, this recipe is THE EASIEST RECIPE EVER. It requires no more skill than opening a tube and turning on a food processor. It’s that easy. Did you know Pillsbury Grands Crescent Rolls are vegan? They are. There are FIVE ingredients in this recipe. FIVE.

Vegan Honey Buns

[bctt tweet=”Get Series(ous). 12! Recipe: #vegan honey buns EASY! Under 30 mins start to finish! #getseriesous “]

vegan honey buns

vegan honey buns vegan honey buns vegan honey buns

EASY Vegan Honey Buns

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Keywords: bake breakfast bread dessert side snack vegan kosher nut-free

Ingredients (8 rolls)

  • 1 tube Pillsbury Grands Crescent Rolls
  • 8 oz dried, pitted dates
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp vegan buttery spread, soft

Instructions

preheat oven to 375F

roll out the crescent rolls on a floured surface

pinch together triangles so that you have ONE big rectangle

spread 1/2 cup of butter evenly over the surface

for the filling

heat milk until just under scalding

place dates in blender or food processor (pro is easier)

add milk and cinnamon

blend or process until smooth

spread over croissant dough

roll up

cut in half, half, and half again, 8 pieces

place in greased, small pie tin

bake for 15 minutes

top with tin foil

bake 5 more minutes

remove and spread 2 tbsp more buttery spread on top of buns

serve

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