It’s Not a Sin, It’s Criminal-ly Bad.

Ok. I almost never write bad reviews. I hate doing it. It doesn’t feel nice. Authors spend months on a project–sometimes years–just to have someone like me tell them it’s crap? I don’t like it. I’m friends with authors. I AM an author. I know what it’s like to be written about negatively. Therefore, what … Read more…

Weighty Words: The Top 5 Fitness Books That Don’t Make You Want an Oreo.

When I re-branded my blog, I told myself I wouldn’t completely cut fitness out of the blog entirely, because it’s still a huge part of my life, and I love talking about it. However, it felt disingenuous to continue in the vein of “healthy fitness blogging” when I realized that a lot of the time … Read more…

Get Series(ous). #12

This get series(ous) is entirely someone else’s fault. I won’t name names or point fingers, but I will give clues.


*catnip

and this:

Who should read this series?

Today’s Get Series(ous). is for readers who want to fall over laughing in public places. This reader loves PNR, but he or she is freaking tired of the “fated mate” bullshit. No one smells someone once and immediately decides they must do the deed and be bonded forever, and that’s perfectly ok because, fate, right? Not dubious consent at all!!

No, this person wants the build. Two people meet, they may or may not like each other at first, they fight it, there’s a tug-and-pull, the inevitable tug-and-rub, and then a tugging at the strings of the heart.

This person probably likes Anchorman and Drunk History. 

When asked “Team Jacob or Team Edward?” he or she responds: “fuck them, I’m Team Scott Howard.

They have gone to more than one karaoke bar, and know all the words to either:

or.

They like romance and the, you know,

But they’re in it for the story.

He or she prefers the tenth and eleventh Doctors to the ninth or twelfth. (sidenote: why is “twelfth” so fucking impossible to spell? I feel as though, phonetically, it’s “twelth.”)

He or she probably likes to bake, and probably use a lot of butter or vegan buttery substitute.

So, what’s the series?

The Pride series by Shelly Laurenston!

From the first book:

Christmas Pride

How come all the good-looking ones are insane?
That’s what runs through NYPD cop Desiree “Dez” MacDermot’s mind the minute she hooks up again with her childhood buddy, Mace Llewellyn. It isn’t just the way he stares at her with those too-sexy gold eyes―as if he could devour her on the spot. Or the six-four, built-like-a-Navy Seal bod-o-death. It isn’t even that he sniffs her neck and purrs, making her entire body tingle. It’s more about that disconcerting, shifting-from-man-to-lion thing that unhinges her…and makes her want more.

Mace likes making Dez crazy. In fact, he likes her any way he can get her―in bed, on the desk, here, now, again. Together, they’d always been trouble, but Dez has no idea just how good trouble can feel…

Shaw’s Tail

Brendon Shaw, hotel owner and lion shifter, has seen better days. He’s been beaten, had a gun to the back of his head, and had to be rescued by a Pack of shape-shifting wolves. He didn’t think he’d survive the night, much less find the woman of his dreams. And he never thought the woman of his dreams would have a Tennessee accent and wear cowboy boots. Once he sets his sights on her, the predator in him is ready to pounce and never let go.

Ronnie Lee Reed is ready to change her life, and New York City is the place where any girl―even one who runs with a Pack―can redefine herself. First order of business: find a mate, settle down, and stop using men for sex. Even big, gorgeous, lion-shifting, oh-my-what-big-um-paws-you-have men. Then again…

Why I love it:

Honestly? It makes me laugh. Every page makes me laugh. The characters are warm and hilarious, and over the top in their antics. Imagine a bunch of actors or comediennes hang out all of the time, and they may or may not sometimes become wolves, polar bears, or polarcats. Resembling the saber tooths of yore.

The entire ensemble makes me smile.

This is a series of books to read to really escape. Leave your shit at the door, and fall into their packs.

Gwen and Lock

They’re campy and wonderful, and exactly what The Doctor ordered. Maybe she could write a royal spin-off series?

The characters genuinely seem to love one another, and it makes the reader love them as well. Shelly Laurenston’s characters are some of the funniest and big-hearted characters in PNR. Readers become attached to their antics and their dialogue from page one of book one, and are well attached even nine books later.

Four Star Series.

The Recipe Inspired by the Series?

It was a no-brainer. In the installment The Mane Squeeze, the grizzly-shifter, Lachlan, is obsessed with honey buns. I am also. But some vegans don’t eat honey, and it can be $$$ to use in large quantities. But DATES? They’re very much LIKE honey, and a bag of dried dates is around $2.50. Less if you buy in bulk.

Also, this recipe is THE EASIEST RECIPE EVER. It requires no more skill than opening a tube and turning on a food processor. It’s that easy. Did you know Pillsbury Grands Crescent Rolls are vegan? They are. There are FIVE ingredients in this recipe. FIVE.

Vegan Honey Buns

Get Series(ous). 12! Recipe: #vegan honey buns EASY! Under 30 mins start to finish! #getseriesous Click To Tweet

vegan honey buns

vegan honey buns vegan honey buns vegan honey buns

EASY Vegan Honey Buns

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 20 minutes

Keywords: bake breakfast bread dessert side snack vegan kosher nut-free

Ingredients (8 rolls)

  • 1 tube Pillsbury Grands Crescent Rolls
  • 8 oz dried, pitted dates
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp vegan buttery spread, soft

Instructions

preheat oven to 375F

roll out the crescent rolls on a floured surface

pinch together triangles so that you have ONE big rectangle

spread 1/2 cup of butter evenly over the surface

for the filling

heat milk until just under scalding

place dates in blender or food processor (pro is easier)

add milk and cinnamon

blend or process until smooth

spread over croissant dough

roll up

cut in half, half, and half again, 8 pieces

place in greased, small pie tin

bake for 15 minutes

top with tin foil

bake 5 more minutes

remove and spread 2 tbsp more buttery spread on top of buns

serve

Powered by Recipage

All That Glitters is Gibbons

When I began blogging, I had gurlpages. Do you remember that? If you’re under 27, I guarantee you do not. It was like Angelfire, but with 100% more glitter gifs.

por ejemplo…

I loved my little blog there. It was super emo. I was a teen girl with severe anxiety, hardcore depression, and a fierce need to fit in…somewhere. I wrote poetry, bitched about transitioning from a fundamentalist Christian school in the most dangerous city in Ohio, to a Mennonite school in Amish Country, Ohio, where I knew no one, and hated every minute.

(Aside: there is no help for the Fundie school. I mean, if Marilyn Manson devotes a significant portion of his autobio to its destruction of his confidence….?? It is probably still absolutely awful. However, I think, had I started at the peace-loving Mennonite school, I could’ve really enjoyed it. There were even gay students!!GASP!!)

Later, I blogged on Typepad and Blogspot, always looking for my little place to write. Then, when I was pregnant with the Peanut, I started Breakfast to Bed. It was a mess. I had no direction. It took me years to become comfortable with focusing on my life/fitness/books all while sharing my food. In the beginning? GAH! I wish the internet would swallow those posts and take them to the internet subspace on the superhighway. Like Tron, or The Matrix or whatever that weird 90’s movie with Keanu-as-automaton was. The posts should go there.

However, along with the time of B2B’s incunabulum, I met some really awesome bloggers. TaraStephanie and I all had babies around the same time. We met on twitter, and quickly became friends. One day, Stephanie says to me “You’ve GOT to read Brittany’s blog–you’ll love her.” So I read it. And I did. I really did.

I ended up following her on Twitter, and GAH! She followed back! That was huge for me.

I started reading her archives, and had her blog bookmarked in my feedburner RSS feed.

She writes about topics that few bloggers dare to discuss. Masturbation, the sometimes tiresome life of a mother, money problems, self-esteem, the “bed death” that most marriages go through at some point. She makes no apologies, and must have a lady carriage made of pure brass, because that broad is BOLD.

Then, three years ago, she gave an amazing TED talk. Things seem to have really snowballed since then. You cannot blink without seeing her mentioned, or someone quoting her, or a link to her byline.

Most recently, she wrote a book. A very good book.

 

I know, I know. OMGSOMANY bloggers have written books at this point. Some are awesome, some aren’t. I feel like, many times, the voice of the blogger is somehow lost in the medium. It no longer feels as if they wrote the book. Fat Girl Walking reads just like a selection of BrittanyHerself.com‘s juiciest and most incredibly intimate posts.

It’s as if Brittany Gibbons opens her soul, and just sprays each and every page with the sparkling residue of herself. She tells stories about her grandmother, her college life, her bankruptcy, her determination to succeed afterward. It’s harrowing and uplifting.

Fat Girl Walking

She puts it all out there. Everything.

She’s never afraid to tell the stories, even those of her sometimes irrational behavior. She accepts this part of her as it is just that–a part of her. It’s not what defines her, but what makes her human. Sometimes we all act like lunatics, because we are all a *little* crazy. Fat Girl Walking is told with such unabashed bravery that it compels the reader to take a step back from their own lives, and question where it is in that life they need to show a little more mettle.

middle finger

Brittany Gibbons is a brilliant writer with an aptitude for storytelling that will no doubt continue to evolve and flourish throughout her career. I have every confidence that Brittany Gibbons’s work will quoted and studied alongside those such as Nora Ephron, Joan Didion, and Patricia Volk.

Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin, Every Inch of It,

Four and a half sparkling soul stars.

So? What recipe could possibly go with such a book? Well, Brittany Gibbons is from my land of Ohio, and as such deserves a popular Ohio “salad.” And I veganized it because I can. It has been verified by non-vegans to taste as good OR BETTER than the original.

I give you…

Vegan Strawberry Pretzel Jello Salad. It’s a salad because we say so.

Vegan Strawberry Pretzel Jello Salad

Midwest is Best. rvw of Fat Girl Walking by @BrittanyHerself and Strawberry Pretzel Jello Salad.… Click To Tweet

Vegan Strawberry Pretzel Jello Salad

 

Vegan Strawberry Pretzel Jello Salad

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 10-15 minutes, more if you don

Cook Time: 15 minutes plus 2 hours in fri

Keywords: side appetizer dessert vegan

Ingredients (16 bars)

    for the strawberry jel fililng

    for the whipped cream

    • You can ABSOLUTELY use 1 8oz package vegan cream cheese (tofutti), softened and and whipped with 4-6 oz coconut cream and 1 cup confectioners sugar, whipped together until smooth, however, I used coconut whipped cream.
    • the separated fat of 3 cans of full fat coconut milk
    • 1 cup confectioner’s sugar
    • 2.5 ml or 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

    for the pretzel bottom

    • 2 cups crushed pretzels
    • 1/4 cup melted coconut butter

    Instructions

    Preheat oven to 400F

    stir together coconut butter and pretzels and press into the bottom of a 9″ or 10″ square pan

    bake 8-10 minutes or until you can smell them toast and they’re a darker brown

    remove from oven and cool completely

    boil together the juice and water and stir in the jel.

    stir in strawberries.

    pour over crust evenly

    let cool in fridge completely

    if you are making the cream cheese topping, whip the ingredients together on high until fluffy and spreadable–may take more coconut milk. ONLY USE A SOY CREAM CHEESE. It doesn’t break like the others.

    If you are making the coconut cream whipped cream follow these instructions

    top the jel with the cream

    chill in the freezer for fifteen minutes

    slice and serve.

    Powered by Recipage