Eye Patches and Avian Accessories.

Ok, I am anything but a clothes hound, but I will admit to a certain love of dressing. It wasn’t always this way. When I was overweight, though I still adored reading about fashion and shoes, the ability to dress was out of my control. I was limited to what a few stores deemed appropriate for “a woman of size.” (Not something I just made up. When I went dress shopping for a friend’s wedding, the shoplady called me “a woman of size.” As opposed to “a woman of worth” or “a woman with size eleven feet to jam up her…”)

I remember the longing I felt for clothes I never thought I’d be able to wear. I’d flip through Vogue or Lucky or any number of magazines, and lament the fact there was seemingly nothing comparable available to women above a size 10.

Even now, at a size 6, I still feel big compared to what I see in the magazines and on television. I find it ridiculous. I know I’m healthy. I eat (mostly) right. I work out. I run. I spend hours at a time just milling about the house and cleaning so that I can listen to audiobooks to the finish. And if those audiobooks happen to steer into rated-R territory I do have earbuds thankyouverymuch. I’m NOT the stationary woman I was. No where close.

In fact, the only time I’m sitting down is when I’m writing or reading. I don’t really even watch my Netflix while seated. I watch it at the gym or standing in the kitchen.

But here’s the thing. EVERY FREAKING WOMAN ON THIS PLANET could find something to bitch about in magazines and on tv, and it’s EXPECTED. In fact, it’s so expected, it’s BORING.

“I’m too old for this.”

“My boobs are too big”

“My boobs are too small”

“My boobs fit in this bed just right.” (Little known fact–Goldilocks is a G cup. She used to bind them down, but then decided that DRESSING BY OTHER PEOPLE’S STANDARDS WAS SUPER DUMBFACE.)

GOLDILOCKS NO LONGER HAS ANY DAMNS TO GIVE.

I know that I am a tall, small breasted, sort of boy-shaped woman. I don’t always like it. I don’t like the fact that skater dresses are in style right now, because there isn’t a less-flattering silhouette on my frame. I love that leather leggings are still in style because they work well on me.

I’m never going to have Ariana Grande’s ass, and she’s never going to have my height. BFD. We can have the same manicure. I’ll bet we even wear the same size earrings. Again, BFD.

I’m done celebrating and lamenting one specific body-type over another. The ideal is in constant flux, anyway. I just want to celebrate STYLE. Personal. Style. Whatever effing makes you, YOU. Are you a fan of brightly-colored jumpsuits or pirate eye-patches? Great. A BOLD choice. I hope you have a parrot, or at least a peg leg. Are you a preppy and pretty southern belle who loves pearls like most people love coffee? FANTASTIC. I’ll be there with pie and very alcoholic sweet tea. I also might fall into a faint a lot around you saying things like, “I do declare!” and “I’d just like a mess of biscuits right now. Could you just?”

Let it be known my entire knowledge base of deep southern-language speak is from Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, True Blood, and Django Unchained. Also, what I haven’t blocked of Paula Deen from my memory.

Or maybe, like me, you love clothes and shoes, and that just happens to include many tee shirts of the geek variety. Awesome.

Be your plus sized/mid sized/small sized/boobed/butted/toothed self, and have or not have your tattoos and belly button rings or fascination with the color yellow or looking like a bumble bee, and ROCK IT.

In celebration of rocking your own self. Your own style. Your own lack of giving a crap about what you put on your body that isn’t a special, organic, hemp-based, non-aerosol spray lotion infused with the tears of a pterodactylus. I have culled several of my favorite docs about or featuring personal style. Available on NETFLIX.

We all know what my baking style is…it’s not precision frosting, that’s for sure. But it is YUMMY. Today, I felt like embracing the holiday season and making…

Soft Eggnog Sugar Cookies with Cream Cheese Frosting

Soft Eggnog Sugar Cookies with Cream Cheese Frosting Soft Eggnog Sugar Cookies with Cream Cheese Frosting

Soft Eggnog Sugar Cookies with Cream Cheese Frosting

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes + 1 hour chill time

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Keywords: bake dessert cookie

Ingredients (2 dozen cut outs)

    for the cookies

    • 3/4 cup butter
    • 1 egg
    • 2/3 cup dark brown sugar
    • 1/2 tsp almond extract
    • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1/2 tsp rum extract
    • 1 tsp cinnamon
    • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
    • 3/4 tsp baking powder
    • 2 cups flour
    • 2 tbsp corn starch

    for the frosting

    • 8 oz softened cream cheese
    • 1 cup powdered sugar
    • 1 tsp vanilla extract
    • 1/2 tsp rum extract
    • green food coloring-optional

    Instructions

    cream butter and sugar

    add egg

    add extracts

    sift in dry ingredients

    the dough will be a drier dough, like modeling clay

    roll up in saran wrap and chill for an hour or more

    Preheat oven to 350F

    roll out dough to 1/2″ thick and cut out shapes and re-roll as necessary

    bake 8 minutes and let cool completely

    for the frosting

    whip together ingredients

    frost cookies

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    Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.
    Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.