Sharing is Caring, Except When It’s Herpes.

I am just so, so proud of my kids. I couldn’t be any prouder of them if they were putting together a human body jigsaw puzzle while simultaneously making snarky comments about Fox News. “hmmm, that’s the maxilla, and that’s Steve Douchey….” With the hurricane, they’ve had a really challenging couple of weeks. The discipline that we … Read more

Bridget Jones Never Did Cocaine

Do you know what’s more awesome about toasting the President’s re-election with spirits, and then celebrating with friends until the wee hours? Waking up at 6am the next morning. Really, you should try it. Coffee me. Actually, just install a coffee IV drip. I hear it’s good for cellulite. Inject it in my upperthighlowerass. Anyways, … Read more

Keanu Reeves is Incapable of Mind Control

Just an FYI, “Bram Stokers Dracula”, featuring Winona Ryder, does NOT hold up to time. For many years, I couldn’t understand why it was so universally panned by critics and viewers everywhere. I grew up loving that movie. I would argue “It’s just a misunderstood guy, trying to re-capture the woman of his dreams!!!” Re-capture being … Read more

Finding Naked Michael Fassbender

It’s genetics. I can’t help it. my eye color my hair color my un-tame-able fro my flat ass my cankles my odd hazel/gold/brown eyes my goose neck my sarcastic personality what isn’t genetics my choice to sometimes oftentimes eat the wrong thing my choice to move my body every day my love of Doctor Who … Read more

Opus Dentist

Did everyone watch the Emmy Awards last night???? Who was your favorite? Personally, I LOVED Claire Dane’s yellow gown that delicately accented her tiny baby bump! I also really loved Nicole Kidman’s dress, but I think someone cryogenically froze her face years before death. I didn’t know you were supposed to do that. She is … Read more