Scamps. SCAMPS. I am beside myself right meow. We are THREE DAYS AWAY from THIS.
I mean, really. REALLY.
I have been waiting for this ever since Netflix announced they were doing it. Kristin Wiig, Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Jon Hamm, EVERYONE ELSE ON EARTH THAT I LOVE AND ADORE. SFW, I blog for Netflix. I don’t freaking blog about shit I don’t like, (unless I truly hate it like that one book that one time.) Everyone and their stepbrother, (who may also be a bear and a billionaire, and possibly the head of a motorcycle gang intent on saving some chit) has been waiting for this release. (TWSS)
It couldn’t come at a better time because,
and I’m not going outside for ANYTHING. I’ve even taken to working out at home–mostly. ME! WORKING.OUT.AT.HOME. With my kids and my dog, and the insanity…Just leaving the house feels like a burden that carries the weight of my underboob sweat. It just does. Thankfully, I live in the land of Amazon Fresh and Peapod and Fresh Direct and Thrive Market, and Urban Organic, and most importantly–delivery liquor because,
I mean, dammmmmnnn, I’m even sending my laundry out. Even my delicates. IT’S QUITE POSSIBLE THAT SOMEONE, RIGHT NOW, IS HANDLING MY PANTIES. And guess what?
So, even though I am nowhere close to a personal trainer, (unless we’re training to how to bribe preschoolers with candy corn, or possibly training for a rousing game of flip cup) I still came up with an At-Home workout for everyone. Completed entirely with .gifs from the cast of Wet, Hot, American Summer: First Day of Camp.
First, you’re going to need to limber up.
Michael Ian Black is perhaps a bit robot-y, but who GAF? not me?
Now? Power walk like you fucking mean it. Ten minutes, or however long it takes you to look amazing.
Please, don’t neglect your wig.
Swing those legs, scamps! Those man pebbles and ladyflowers aren’t going to fan themselves!
Feel those feelings. It burns like, an easy 6 calories.
Thrust it like you’re making babies.
It’s best to wear cut-off jorts at all times. Natural fibers only.
Now things get really hot…
So, time to refuel.
repeat, like, enough for eight episodes.
Now, you know I don’t eat McDonald’s. I’m pretty sure the only vegan item on their menu is the apple slices. So, that’s not my refueling option of choice after my nightly makeout sesh with Bradley Cooper.
So I made something that goes really well with beer, because, don’t tell me you’re not going to drink a few while watching this wondrous extravaganza. They’re vegan, but once again, I gave non-vegan options.
Faux-ritos and Creamy Cilantro Dip
Prep Time: 10 minutes
Cook Time: 8 minutes
Ingredients (4 servings)
dusting for baked tortilla chips
- 2 tsp nutritional yeast or 2 tbsp crumbled parmesan cheese
- 1/2 tsp kosher salt
- 1/4 tsp celery salt
- 1/2 tsp smoked paprika
- 1/4 tsp garlic powder
- 1/2 tsp cumin
for the chips
- 8-10 small flour tortillas
- cooking spray (all-natural)
for the dip
- 1/3 cup vegan mayo I use JUST MAYO, or regular mayo
- 2 tbsp frozen recaito
- 2 tbsp red wine vinegar
- 1/2 tsp kosher salt
preheat oven (or toaster oven, like I used) to 400F)
slice tortillas into strips
arrange strips in a single layer on a cooling rack over a cookie sheet
spray with cooking spray
bake for 8 minutes or until crisp
while baking, whisk together toppings for chips
remove strips from oven and spray again
toss in a bowl with the dust
for the dip
thaw the recaito overnight in a separate bowl in the fridge
stir with mayo and red wine vinegar