Blind Superheroes Probably Don’t Have Time to Cook

The past week and a half has been a really trying time. Missing the marathon, dealing with health issues that leave me on the sidelines, and OMGSOMUCHEFFINGSCHOOLSHIT, have left me feeling ugggghhhh.

I’ve been stuck mostly in bed or at work, and I’m going insane. Rather more quickly than I would like, but at precisely the pace I expect. I’m in a bit of a reading…well,…funk. The PSM

bloggif_55281d7b9fab5and I have been working on a project for a few months, and it requires the mass consumption of romance novels, and I’m burned. However, there will be a book review of a NON-romance coming up here on B2B that I think will make everyone excited.

Alas, that was but one book. My time has been woefully long, and I’ve been in dire need of redirection from my own deep bouts of self-flagellating.

My husband and I are huge geek/nerds. We love science and comics and dungeons and dragons and long and winding discussions about books, movies, theology, food, everything. Our children are similarly consumed with the need to learn, to know, to revel in the feeling of passion about the fantastic–the absurd.

Lately, he’s been sending me text after text, and waxing poetic about a new series that he declares I MUST WATCH right this instant. Daredevil on Netflix. We were both huge fans of the comic years ago, and were so completely and utterly turned off by the Ben Affleck version. I was reticent to watch. I knew that there was so much on Netflix I loved, but I was in the mindset of “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, Jennifer Garner is not Electra.”

But Netflix’s version? OH MY GAWD. It’s dark. It’s gritty. It’s VINCENT FUCKING DONOFRIO AS KINGPIN. Deborah Ann Woll (from True Blood) as Karen Page?! Just, just…oh dear. Just, perfect. PERFECT.

I cannot believe I didn’t watch every single episode in one sitting. I wanted to open up my mind and pour it in like so much water.

Also? Points to the Foley artist. The sound is SO important in this series. It’s how Matthew Murdock gets all of his information. It’s how he fights, how he lives, how he sees. The trippy background music, the sonar pings, the mashing and thudding impact of bone and flesh on bone and flesh, is incredible. It’s more than a cleaver through celery. These artists are pulling out all the stops, mixing music with the nearly tactile sounds of daily life. Incredible.

I cant get enough of this series. I have no desire to wait months and months to get more episodes. Alas, though I blog for Netflix, they don’t love me enough (or trust me–rightly so) to let me see their (yet unfilmed) episodes.



Anyway, here’s some food. We never really see them “enjoying” food so much on the show, so I’m giving you something fun to eat. My hypothesis is that saving New York City from evil assholes doesn’t leave much time to enjoy a homemade meal.

I would soooo cook for Matt Murdock–or, at least, heat things up with him.

I made tattie scones. They’re like a potato pancake (like, exactly) but infinitely more interesting to Americans because of their cutesy Scottish name. They’re also bigger, like a crepe. Mother truckers in Scotland don’t mess around with their tuber-based foods. They embrace them. Like a hug…Come on, America. We need more large, potato filled finger foods.

French fries, potato chips, tater tots, potato skins, and those awesome, giant, curly whirly chip-type creations which are deep-fried at the fair, are not enough. Duh.

Tattie Scones

Simple Tattie Scones

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 1 hour (mostly down time)

Cook Time: 25 minutes

Keywords: fry

Ingredients (10 cakes)

  • 1 lb russet potatoes
  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup soft butter
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • pepper to taste
  • more butter for the pan.


wash, prick, and bake potatoes at 350F for about an hour or until fork-tender

when beginning to cool, peel the potatoes

mash with remaining ingredients

roll into 6″-1/8″ rounds on a floured surface

fry in butter on each side for a few minutes until they’re tasty-crispy brown!

top with savory or sweet ingredients.

(I like sour cream or cream cheese and tomatoes.)

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Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.
Though Netflix sponsored these posts, all opinions and recipes are my own.

Kick the Protagonist in the Scull.

There is nothing more I needed last weekend than a complete literary escape. I’m tied up in knots about Boston, I was supposed to see a friend, and spend several hours sculling on the Hudson, and relaxing. Instead, I was bringing the winter coats back out of the closet, caring for sick children, and sanitizing every surface in my home.

Kids are disgusting germ machines. It’s a good thing they’re cute.

So, I curled up on the sofa, cozy in my hazmat suit and oxygen tank, and dug into a new book series.

I promptly finished the new series.

I then cried all the rivers of all the tears that I have to wait for more books from one of my favorite contemporary authors.

What’s the series?

Well, since the only one currently available is the first book of the series of three, I shall review that one, k? K.


The Blurb:

One week.
Private beach.
Invisible girl.
Jerk-faced bully.
What’s the worst that could happen?
Kaitlyn Parker has no problem being the invisible girl, which is why she finds herself hiding in various cabinets and closets all over her college campus. Despite her best efforts, she can’t escape the notice of Martin Sandeke—bad boy, jerkface bully, and the universe’s hottest, wealthiest, and most unobtainable bachelor—who also happens to be Kaitlyn’s chemistry lab partner.
Kaitlyn might be the only girl who isn’t interested in exploiting his stunning rower’s build, chiseled features, and family’s billionaire fortune. Kaitlyn wants Martin for his brain, specifically to tabulate findings of trace elements in surface water.
When Kaitlyn saves Martin from a nefarious plot, Martin uses the opportunity to push Kaitlyn out of her comfort zone: spring break, one week, house parties, bathing suits, and suntan lotion. Can she overcome her aversion to being noticed? Will he be able grow beyond his self-centered nature? Or, despite their obvious chemistry, will Martin be the one to drive Kaitlyn into the science cabinet of obscurity for good?

What did I think?

I loved it. Honestly. I’m not just saying that. 

I will be 100% honest with you, I typically do not like YA or NA books. There are a few exceptions, but mostly, this is the case. I’m just not into them. It typically takes A LOT to bend me in this.

Attraction definitely piqued and maintained my interest, as well as implanted a hunger for the rest of the series. I didn’t feel as though I was reading the typical NA that I simply cannot relate to in any manner. It made me cringe and laugh and remember every ridiculous and awful and memorable thing I did at age 19. In a good way. Because *cough*Xnumberofyears*cough* later, I can now look back and see what I’ve learned, and laugh at my own ridiculous antics.

I’ve been a fan of Penny Reid since her first book, Neanderthal Seeks Humanand have continued to read every single thing she writes.

Seriously, I’m contemplating stalking her to read her grocery list, because it’s probably hilarious. It probably reads like this.

Reid Household Groceries:




Golden Grahams

Cheap Box of Fiber Cereal to hide bag of Golden Grahams




possible weapons for world domination: think chocolate covered bacon donuts



Sometimes I have a hard time reeling in my inner creeper.

Moving on!!

As I read this first-person narrative, I felt as though I was seeing through Kaitlyn Parker’s eyes, and sharing her feels in my feels. At one point while reading the book, I realized I had chewed my lower lip to full redness and chapped anger–a habit I thought I shrugged off years ago. Apparently, if given enough early adulthood empathy, I can revert back to an early adult. (If only this worked on my skin and boobs.)

I feel like I should tell everyone…this book ends in a cliffhanger. HOWEVER, these books are being released fairly close together, and it’s NBD. It’s also TOTALLY worth it. It is chock full of the humor and absurd circumstances you’ve come to expect from Penny Reid, and also has the underlying heart that makes the book more than just a really funny romance.

But if you think for one second I didn’t create a meme for this book…

Attraction by Penny Reid

The heroine, Kaitlyn is navigating the often (read:always) tumultuous experience of first love. She’s uniquely written and utterly lovable. She’s flawed, and at times very immature, and she’s unsure and intelligent and wonderful. She’s exactly what a 19 year old should be. If she didn’t suffer from bouts of insecurity or impetuous behavior, or just pure post-adolescent stupidity, she wouldn’t be a realistic character. She’d be fluff.

The love interest, Martin made me want to put my head through a wall. To put it simply, he’s an asshole. Ok, Kaitlyn refers to him as a “jerkface,” but really…he’s a 20 year old boy, which in general would mean probably still an asshole, (I have a brother, I think he grew out of that phase at…I’ll let you know when it happens. JK, 23. I’ll say 23. Loves you, baby bruvah!) However, he’s not only an asshole because he’s 20–though…–he’s the son of what is possibly the King Master Overlord Asshole Diminutively-Dicked Shitbucket.

joke that eleven people will get.

So Martin may have a mite bit of emotional baggage. Just a hair. However, it appears as though he is actively trying to deactivate his inner dickhead tendencies. He shows small acts of unexpected kindness, and really tries to make sense of his overwhelming feelings towards Kaitlyn.

In the end, the reason this book worked so well for me is that it was a thoughtfully-written and enjoyable romance that propels the reader into the terrifying psyche of early adulthood with confidence and aplomb. Penny Reid manages the impossible when she swirls her pen into plot, and creates a billionaire who is not cliche and one-dimensional, and a young woman who is genuinely believable in her struggles and successes.

Five masses of hydrogen, helium, and heavy elements.

The Recipe Inspired by the Book:

Ok, it’s a cocktail, and the characters aren’t old enough to drink. That’s fine, I’ll drink their share. 

Since the story begins in Chem lab, and the series is named Elements of Chemistry, I decided to take the theme and RUN WITH IT.

I give you the NaC₆H₁₂O₆ Typical TnT.

AKA, a revamped Tequila and Tonic. Because tonic gloooows.

tequila and tonic

A chemical creation to drink! (also, alcohol is a solution) and review of the first #ElementsofChemistry book by @ReidRomance #amreading Click To Tweet

tequila and tonic tequila and tonic


NaC₆H₁₂O₆ Typical TnT: Revamped Tequila and Tonic

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Keywords: beverage


  • 1 part tequila (GOOD TEQUILA)
  • 2 parts tonic water
  • .3 ish parts Chambord
  • ice
  • options: salt rim, rock candy stirrer


shake chambord and tequila or stir all three ingredients with ice.

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Thoughts on Boston.

12 days.

In 12 days I’ll be running the Boston Marathon.

I’m a distance runner. I get lost in the miles. I thrive on the burning ache in my calves and glutes. I actually enjoy the tight constriction of every muscle in my respiratory system. It’s all hot breaths and sweat and endurance. I am more focused on my “self” while running than I am at any other point in my day. It’s as essential to me as sugar or books.

Still. Still, I never thought I’d actually run Boston. It’s one of those things that you tell people “yeah, maybe. I’d like to, but…” and you stop considering it because it seems like such an impossibility.

Logically, I realize that about 36k people run it every year. That’s not huge, but it’s not tiny, either.

Still, still.


Just saying it out loud sounds foreign in my ears. Like I’m speaking in the tongues of the religion of running.

Boston Boston Boston.

It’s euphoric and terrifying.

Boston Boston Boston.

Just typing it, reading it, it no longer looks like a real word, a real name. It’s elevated above that somehow.

Boston Boston Boston.

I never considered myself a racing person. I don’t like to put on clothes that early. I don’t like worrying about chips, or if someone will make a sign for me, or if I’ll puke in public at mile 24. I don’t want to worry about my time for a distance that is better measured in train stops than minutes per mile.

24 miles on the Long Island Rail Road–45 minutes, 15-16 stops, Bethpage. Not far enough. Not far enough to let me read more than a few chapters in my book. Not far enough to let me recite all the monarchs of England and their dates of birth, death, and wives/husbands. (That task requires the time it takes from going from the Coney Island area to Yankee Stadium. Fewer miles with more stops.)

26.2 miles on my feet, propelled by my own power, aided by only the immensity of the task, the energy of my surroundings, the training I’ve completed, and the waves of sound I choose to project into my ears.

26.2 miles through one of America’s oldest cities. Lobster rolls and Red Sox, probably more than one letter written to John Adams telling him what an asshole he is, Marky Mark. The impossible dream of runners.

It feels like the first day of college and graduation all at once. Is it the end? The beginning? Is this like being accepted by MIT, or graduating Summa Cum Laude? Where do I even go from here? Stockholm? London? KONA?!

Do I completely stop caring and just run the most ridiculous races I can find? Ugly sweater Christmas 10k?(fantastic, will the sweater wick moisture? I’ll start learning to knit now.) Naked 5k in Rio? (no.) Geisha run in Kyoto? (this is a thing, however, I’d need to first be a geisha–I think that takes a while, and I think I exceed the height standards.)

I know I don’t stop running. The day I stop running is the day I can no longer run. But, what?

Boston Boston Boston.

For now, I’ll focus on my goals. In 13 days? I’ll think about more in 13 days.

My goals for Boston.

Boston Boston Boston.

  1. I want to complete it. Just start at mile 0 and finish at 26.2.
  2. Ideally, I would do that in 3 hours and 30 minutes.
  3. ENJOY the race. It’s BOSTON.
  4. Get my Blue Steel on EVERYWHERE NEEDED, otherwise, the race will be very un-fun. 
  5. Find the BEST sushi in Boston for post-race noshing.
  6. Spend time with friends and family in an electric atmosphere.

Unofficial #7? Carbo-load with cake. Specifically, this one.

Red Wine Cocoa Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting.

Red Wine Cocoa Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Thoughts on running the #BostonMarathon and carb loading on Red Wine Cocoa Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting #runchat #FitFluential Click To Tweet

Red Wine Cocoa Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

Red Wine Cocoa Cake with Chocolate Cream Cheese Frosting

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 35 minutes

Keywords: bake dessert breakfast

Ingredients (1 cake)

  • 1/2 cup salted butter, melted
  • 3/4 cup red wine. (like Cab or Shiraz)
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 1/2 cups sugar
  • 1/2 cup cocoa powder (dark, not dutched)
  • 1 1/2 cup flour
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp instant espresso powder

for the frosting

  • 1 cup semisweet chocolate chips, plus more for topping
  • 8 oz softened cream cheese
  • 1 cup confectioners sugar
  • 1 tsp vanilla


Preheat oven to 350F

cream butter and sugar

add egg, vanilla, and wine

slowly sift in dry ingredients

pour into greased and floured bundt cake pan

bake 30-35 minutes, or until skewer inserted in center comes out clean

let cool completely

for the frosting

melt chocolate chips in microwave on high for 45 seconds, repeat after stirring in 15 second intervals (about 1 minute 15 seconds total)

whip together room temperature cream cheese and powdered sugar

slowly add in melted chocolate, scraping FROM THE BOTTOM frequently

add vanilla


scoop frosting onto bundt and tap the top of the bundt to have it fall over sides of cake

top with more chips or chocolate shavings, or nothing!

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Auralgasms #3

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before today, but I am in rehearsals “Twelfth Night.” I am playing Viola. I’m going to assume I’m getting to play this awesome role because of talent, and possibly nepotism, and not because of nepotism and the fact that I’m shaped like a 13 year old boy.

Anyways, that’s beside the point. Theatre, in all of its madness and chaos of live performance and all that rot, is essentially a liquid, living, visual experience. As an actor, I’m able to use my body, my face, and the stage to portray everything I want to as that character. Really, it’s all very Waiting for Guffman. 

This is where we’re going to pretend I get all Inside the Actor’s Studio about acting, and what it takes to do it and yadda yadda yadda, more shit people don’t care about if they’re not actors….

But I will answer this:

Because it’s so easy. It’s “cunt punt.” Sorry, PSM.

Moving on, my point is, when I’m on stage or in front of a camera, I have a fuckton of means available to convey emotion and everything else. HOWEVER, some of the ABSOLUTELY MOST DIFFICULT work I’ve done as an actor is voiceover work. You’re expected to make magic with only your instrument. (insert skin flute joke, here.) It’s a very solitary gig. It’s just you and the producer, in a disturbingly quiet room, and a microphone that stares at you like it’s about to eat your face.

Sometimes, if you’re recording dialogue for a cartoon, you get sketches or stills for inspiration. Also, chances are, you’re going to be doing one or two of the voices–so, not so bad. You flail, you pull your hair, you get all “method” in front of the face-eating microphone.

If its an ad, it’s a reasonably straight-forward gig. Read, get it clear, get it across, get it done. Great. BAM. Thank you very much, don’t forget my check.

But when it’s an AUDIOBOOK. It’s JUST YOU. (mostly) For HOURS. You’re doing every voice, every emotion, every call and wail, every breathy intonation, every bit of it. Face Eater just hangs there in judgement of your every word. Your producer occasionally stops you dead in the middle of the line to tell you that you need to swallow. (perfect place for another skin flute reference.) You have a script in front of you with eighteen different colors of highlighter splattered across its pages like some sort of evil modern art graffiti. You drink approximately a gallon of throat coat, and proceed to wiggle through the last 4 pages because your bladder is about to explode. By the end of the day, you’re wanting to add some gin to that tea, because you have had it with hearing yourself talk.

Also? Sometimes you read books that may make my jokes about *woodwinds* seem like the most innocent of humor. Sometimes, you find yourself describing, in detail, very interesting scenes. There could be moaning…heavy breathing……….grunting.

Sometimes, if say, you’re a pale-ass Slav with a fundie father, you develop a fever of the face through the entire read.

There’s a good reason why I do theatre, and why I admire the ever-loving fuck out of actors who make their living reading for audiobooks. It is seriously hard, and somewhat lonely, and GAH! HARD! *twhs.


This week’s aurgasms narrator, Xe Sands, makes it sound effortless. Like, homegirl just walks up to the face-eating demon recorder, says “FUCK YOU, I WILL CUNT-PUNT YOUR ASS INTO SUCCESS!” and then she just rocks that book like the San Andreas fault rocks Cali. Or how I rock myself in a corner before I go into the recording studio. (it’s all very Emily Rose, for me)

I want to rock like Thorin.

The first series I listened to that she narrated was the Nightwalkers, series by Jacquelyn Frank. The series itself is pretty boss, great writing, fun plot, interesting characters, good books, right? Would I have stayed with the series through its entirety, and listened to the spin-off series if not for the narrator? I don’t think so. I think if it was on my kindle alone, it would have sat in the long line of TBR that I have no idea if I’ll ever read.

Her reading of Euphoriaone of my favorite books of last year, was ABSOFUCKINGAMAZEBALLS. Her accents, her characters, her men, her women, everything. Perfect. My cast mate came in while I was listening to it, and he looked at me, and said “that voice should read me to sleep every night.” I sent him to her audible page.

If he chooses the right novel, sleep won’t be what’s on his mind…

Her voice is reminiscent of Kathleen Turner, only a bit more youthful, a bit less tobacco. It’s sexy in a way that’s exactly the right amount of turn-the-page hotness, and toned-down seductress. She is exactly who you’d choose to read the chapters of your memoirs that deal with your clubbing 20s and peak 30s.

I also think it’d be hilarious to hear her totttalllly sex up a read of bad high school emo poetry, because I am fucked up like that.

A lot of my emo poetry from high school is ALL ABOUT unrequited love, and my gay boyfriend not really knowing what to do when he felt me up. It was an embarrassing time for all.

I’m about to kick some serious ass, running all weekend, and just POUNDING a series narrated by Xe Sands. (plus a few others, I have ADHD.) I suggest you do the same.

The recipe for the narrator.

Thankfully, Xe Sands is on social media and I could ask her for her favorites. She was polite enough to respond, and thus, y’all are getting

Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts.

Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts


Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts and latest #Auralgasms post! #donuts #audiobooks #narratorfangirling Click To Tweet Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts

These are like the best bakery sour cream donut, combined with delectable dark chocolate, and an ooey-gooey glaze that makes your mouth sing.



Chocolate Chip Sour Cream Donuts

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes plus 45 minutes chi

Cook Time: 5-8 minutes

Keywords: fry appetizer bread breakfast dessert

Ingredients (1 dozen donuts)

  • 1 egg
  • 3 tbsp softened butter
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar
  • 1 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup sour cream
  • 2 tbsp milk
  • 2 1/3 cup AP Flour–sifted twice
  • 1 cup dark chocolate chips
  • fat for frying


  • 100 ml HOT, but not scalding whole milk
  • 1 cup sifted confectioners sugar
  • 3 tbsp white corn syrup
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp almond extract


whip together wet ingredients in a mixer on high

reduce mixer speed to slow

sift in dry ingredients, save chips

stir in chips

cover and chill for 45 minutes

preheat 2 cups of oil in a shallow pan

bring oil to 325F

roll out dough on floured surface and cut into rounds and cut out centers 1/2″ thick.

re-roll excess and repeat

fry each donut 3 minutes per side

let cool

make glaze


whisk sugar and extracts and syrup into hot milk with a whisk


dip each cooled donut into the glaze and set aside for a few minutes


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