Red Tent Regrets.

Ok, let’s be honest with each other, shall we?

Yesterday was meant to be my long-run day. However, it was roughly 1 degree Kelvin outside. (about the same temperature as Santa’s balls) Also, PMS. My body wracked with cramps like an evil Clydesdale had kicked me in the lady region, paired with the aforementioned Santa balls weather, I made cookies and drank wine. I also indulged in a roast beef sandwich, and retail therapy.

Note to mothers: if you’re residing in your red tent, and have zero patience, this is not the best time to go to the Disney Store. I bought my daughter a Merida bow-and-arrows set. This, admittedly, was not my best parenting decision. Also, she appears to be a natural shot, unless she wasn’t aiming for my head just now.

damn it.

Today shall be my many-miled day. I’m almost 100%, but not quite, so I’m not going to push it. I have two fistfuls of Midol, and chocolate chip cookies. I’m as prepared as I can be. Anyone who lives with Endometriosis (in my case, it’s joined by PCOS) knows just how painful it can be. It’s honestly crippling–sometimes narcotic worthy–pain. I do the best I can, and just endure. The way one endures calculus–or bagpipe music.

 

(ok, I actually like bagpipe music. tell anyone, and I’ll deny it.)

With my tent in mind, here is my schedule for the remainder of the week:

Today (Tues) 18 miles and foam rolling                                                                               Wednesday-6 miles and Crossfit                                                                                               Thursday-SW (Yassos FTW) and yoga                                                                                           Friday-10 miles and Cross-training                                                                                           Saturday-8 miles and rolling                                                                                                       Sunday-Crossfit

It’s less milage than I’d usually run this far in the game, but it cannot be helped. As it stands right now, I’m going to be forced to listen to Taylor Swift and then Kanye and then Beck and then Kanye again, just to be angry enough to force myself to do my speedwork. I also may need to give in and take my #3 Tylenol (or stronger) at night to ward off the worst of the pain so I may sleep. Or at least curb the pain enough that it doesn’t cause me to lose my lunch at mile 10–which is a thing that happens.

I’m curious about other marathon runners who have similar issues. How has it affected your training? Do you “give in” and take the narcotics? I realize most runners are leery of any pain killer that doesn’t come from fermented hops, malt, and barley.

I’m still working on the best solution. If I find a good one, I’ll let you know. And for the love of Pete, don’t tell me you rub ylang ylang essential oils over your baby maker and then chant for it to go away, because then, well, then I’ll just assume you’re batshit crazy, k?

I may be in a bit of a mood. So I guess it’s good I made cookies. Cookies help.

I made INSANELY delicious chocolate chip cookies. Different enough to be distinct, familiar enough to be crave-worthy, and fecking delicious. Salted, toasted almonds, browned butter toasted oats, dark chocolate chips, and all dark-brown sugar. INSANE.

Better than a Bakery Nutty Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies.

Browned Butter and Almond Chocolate Oat Drops & Run Pain #FitFluential Click To Tweet

Better than a Bakery Nutty Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies Better than a Bakery Nutty Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies Better than a Bakery Nutty Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Better than a Bakery Nutty Browned Butter Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Keywords: bake snack dessert cookie

Ingredients (3 dozen)

  • 7 tbsp softened butter
  • 3 tbsp butter
  • 1 cup oats
  • 1/2 cup chopped salted almonds
  • 1, 12oz bag of your favorite chocolate chips (I like dark chocolate)
  • 1 1/2 cup AP flour
  • 1 1/2 cup dark brown sugar
  • 2 large eggs
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • coarse sea salt

Instructions

Preheat oven to 375F

in a saucepan or skillet, bring 3 tbsp butter to brown over medium heat

add in oats and toast until they begin to smell nutty

add in nuts and toast 2-3 more minutes

let cool

in a mixer on medium, cream together softened butter and sugar

add in vanilla and eggs

slowly add in the oat mixture

add the baking powder

sift in the flour

stir in chips

cover dough with plastic wrap

chill for one hour in the refrigerator

using a 2 tbsp scoop

scoop onto a lined baking sheet 2″ apart

dust with a bit of coarse salt

bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown

let chill on baking sheet 5 minutes before moving to a cooling rack

store in an airtight container up to 3 days

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How Do You Say “Ladyboner” in Italian?

Warning: highly objectionable language used in post. Just fucking read it anyway.

I’ve said it before, but one of my favorite things that has ever come from blogging is when I receive ARCs. *advanced reader copies

When they show up in my inbox, I get that spine-tingly thing that romance writers use to describe what happens before a male orgasm.

Basically, screeners are my man junk, and opening them? Totally my rubbing one out.

I was lucky enough to get three screeners this week. I’ve only read one as of yet, and it was SO MUCH FUN.

You guys know I love Penny Reid‘s books. They’re the sort of smart and sassy contemporary romance novels that never fall off the cliff of head-shakingly predictable plots. Yes, you get your HEA, but the struggle to get there feels real.

Her books are funny and smartly-written, and this collection of short stories from the knitters is no different.

Here’s the catch! A few things before the meat of the review: One, The book will only be available for download from 12/1-12/15, and I’ll remind you of this. Two, ALL PROCEEDS BENEFIT TOYS FOR TOTS. Children get stuff if you read this book. Ok, they get it if you simply buy it, but buying and not reading is like going to a winery and saying “you know what, I’d better not.” THAT’S JUST STUPID. (unless you’re sober, then keep on keeping on and eat some cheese.)

TO THE REVIEW!

This collection of short stories is like being given a half of a bag of snack chips. On one hand, CHIPS, who doesn’t like em, right? On the other hand, I WANT MORE CHIPS.

I loved seeing a glimpse into my favorite fictional ladies’ lives. They are just as fun and frisky as they appear in their full-length novels. I particularly liked one bit of the Quinn and Janie story, because it is just so…them.

eiffel

Why was this little snapshot so funny to me? Because when I first beginning to pick out a new pair of ladybags, I asked the man to look through the surgeon’s catalog with me. He was a bit taken aback. He looked at me and said “they’re boobs. just pick ones you want to wear. surprise me, even.” (lower case implying deadpan.) I was giving the man CARTE BLANCHE to ogle boobies, and he turned me down. I felt like I needed Diana Ross to go with me to judge.

That being said, that was not even my favorite bit of these shorts. My favorite bit was the final short story. Almost a novelette, it is the story of Fiona and Greg. Up until now in the series, they’ve been relatively cast toward the fringes of the books, only to pop up here and there and offer wisdom.

We finally get to see how they met. You’d think that with it being set in undergrad, it’d read like a NA novel, but it doesn’t. It reads like a richly textured adult contemporary. (this isn’t to say all NAs are one-dimensional) I think that it’s because Fiona and Greg have both gone through quite a bit by the time they reach education’s hallowed halls that they’re bringing more to a relationship than your average college students.

I don’t want to give anything away, but suffice it to say, it explains much in just a few pages. Why it is that such a young couple would have kids so young when so many are waiting…What would draw Fiona and Greg to clandestine occupations…and how it is they’re still so devoted to one another thirteen years later.

All in all? Five Stars, but I want more chips. I want a Costco-sized bag of Fiona and Greg.

Buy the book. It’s benefitting Toys for Tots. That is a military organization. So, basically, do it for your country. (or ours, whatever.)

Now? Christmas Cookies. I don’t know what they’re called by you, but these are actually pretty popular around here. The bakery nearest my house calls them “Italian Shortbread Cookies,” which is a pretty good description. Often called “butter cookies,” they’re a delicious, buttery cookie that you sandwich with jam, or do what I did, and make them all festive-like by adding maraschino cherries before baking.  I cannot take credit for this recipe, just alterations. I use Giada’s recipe, and add two tbsp orange zest and one tbsp lemon zest. I also omit the vanilla extract and add 1/2 tsp almond extract. I pipe a few tbsp out a few tbsp apart from one another, roll them into balls, make a thumbprint, and drop a cherry in. Bake for 8-10 minutes at 350F

ZOMG.

italian shortbread cookies italian shortbread cookies italian shortbread cookies

Can Ariel Swim In Mouthwash?

Holy Spring cleaning, Batman! Yesterday, my husband and I scrub a dub dubbed and re-arranged our living room, and it felt so.good. Spring cleaning and organizing excites me in ways that you can’t imagine. I think it’s similar to how Dr Drew feels when he hears of a celebrity having a meltdown in the back … Read more…

The Middle Child Is Never Loved Enough.

Today I was going to bake Slovak Nut Roll, but for some unknown reason, I decided to wake up in the middle of the night and watch “Escape From LA”. Have you ever seen it? I can’t decide whether it IS the single largest steaming pile of crap, or whether it’s a cinematic masterpiece. At … Read more…