Witchcraft and Oil Wrestling

Today is one of those days I wish someone served me breakfast in bed. A big bowl of ibuprofen laden oatmeal. If I were Sam on “Bewitched”, today would be the day I’d say “To Hell with Darren, I’m using my magic all.damn.day”. Also, I don’t think Darren should have squelched her magic. First; their … Read more…

The Oscar is Awarded to The Unicorn.

I must have kissed a unicorn or helped some old lady that I forgot about, or sold my soul to the devil, because the kids let me sleep in. I slept right up until the Oscar nominations. I watch them every year, and if I’m working, I tivo them. I know they’re utterly showy and … Read more…

Dancing Zumba in a Cowboy Hat.

As always, thanks to Jenn at  Peas and Crayons for hosting What I Ate Wednesday. I imagine it’s a GIANT pain in the ass. I am back to full blown Bessie, thanks to fenugreek and brewer’s yeast and more water and coffee than what is reasonable, so I am back to my usual 1800 calorie … Read more…

New Year, New You, New Crapload of Stupid Diets!

I can’t even begin to tell you how many emails I have recieved promising my readers “awesome weight loss” or “a whole new perspective on getting healthy”. It’s friggen comical. Every mother trucking television show this morning revolved around getting organized, losing weight, quitting smoking, etc. Let’s start small. (stop me if you’ve heard that … Read more…

Peeing on a Pedophile’s Lap

Guess what’s back at Starbucks!!! Gingerbread Lattes and Gingerbread Biscotti–both get capitalized because of their importance in my life. That means it’s officially time to get your mother loving holly jolly Christmas on. Did you send your Christmas cards? Did you buy all of your gifts? Did you sit on the creepy mall pedophile’s lap … Read more…