Baio in the Buff?

Lately, I’ve been in a bit of a state. I’ve not been able to train for my upcoming triathlon as much as I’d like, because my bits decided to BRING A POX UPON OUR HOUSE! Seriously. Children are disgusting little beasties that I am sure we’d all segregate and quarantine if they weren’t so freaking cute.

Ok, sometimes, I still desire a quarantine of my very own.

I’ve been able to train 3-4x/week, but transitions are HARD, and I simply need more training. For the next few weeks, I need to erect a bulwark around my children so they’re unexposed to any more plagues, pox, or fits of annoying behavior.

The swimming and the running are a breeze for me. (A sprint distance triathlon is actually REALLY short.) The time on the bike is getting easier. Alas, going from one to the other? I keep falling over. Not figuratively–literally– falling on my ass.  I look like a former frat boy after a bachelor party every time I’m in a transition zone.

 

I’ve been watching ample youtube videos on transition, and relying on my training team to tell me what I’m doing wrong, but honestly, I think I just need practice–and perhaps–the grace of the gods.

or….yeah right.

I have a heavy training schedule this week, and I’m actually looking forward to the pressure. I’m also looking forward to the snacks.  I picked 93487394867394 apples with my kids, and I’m ALL OVER apples and peanut butter dip.

I may have written a song about apples and dip to sing to my bits. It may go to the theme of Charles in Charge. Scott Baio may be mentioned. My kids may look at me like I’m just this side of the loony bin.

“dip and apples, you are my, favorite food. dip and apples, scott baio, in the nude.”

I am not a poet, but you WILL remember that song.

Moving on from Chachi and his member…

It’s HALLOWEEN MONTH!! SAMHAIN!! ALL-HALLOWS EVE. aka, “the BEST HOLIDAY EVER!!”

It’s full of yoga pants clad women ordering spiced lattes, cottony spiderwebs….

this guy…

and most of all…

READING CREEPY BOOKS AND DRINKING TEQUILA. I have actually no idea why tequila is required other than because, tequila.

So, for your reading pleasure, I’ve compiled a fantastic list of classic horror books you may have missed. Yes, I love a good contemporary horror book as much as the next lady, NOS4A2 being one of my top books of 2013, penned by Joe Hill, Stephen King’s oldest son.

Stephen King is the reason I DON’T TRUST SEWERS.

 

 

fuck you, Stephen King. Fuck you.

Without further ado..

horror collage

FYI, my platonic soul mate, Amy, is doing an awesome horror book giveaway on her blog.

Now?

The food.

You know what you need in your life this fall?

Apple-Cinnamon Pull-Apart Challah!

Why? Because A: Challah is delicous. B: Apples are both plentiful and delicious. C: see A and B.

apple cinnamon pull apart challah apple cinnamon pull apart challah apple cinnamon pull apart challah

 

Apple Cinnamon Pull-Apart Challah

by Cat Bowen

Prep Time: depending.

Cook Time: 55 minutes

Keywords: bake appetizer bread dessert Halloween Hanukkah Rosh Hashanah

Ingredients (a gigantic pile of challah or)

  • 2 pounds apples, cut into 1/2″ cubes
  • 1/4 cup honey
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp allspice
  • 1/8 tsp mace
  • 1 batch of challah dough. (thawed, your recipe, chow’s recipe, any number of recipes.)
  • 1 egg plus 2 tbsp water, beaten

Instructions

preheat oven to 350F

combine apples, honey, and spices in a large bowl, set aside

but challah dough (about 2 lbs of it) into 24 even pieces

roll out each piece into a circle, drop an apple piece and SEAL DOUGH WELL around the apple

place on a silpat lined sheet

like a monkey bread, layer/ stack these little filled nuggets 10″ diameter and 3 layers deep, in a conical shape.

depending on how much dough you have, this may make more than one loaf.

brush with egg mixture

bake until a deep, golden brown.

eat like crazy.

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